wberpunk's Journal

Aug 2007
6:52 PM EDT

Steps 1-5: Getting Ready to Let Go Step 1. Admit you have a problem. Although this sounds easy, it often is the hardest step. Why is it that everyone else can see what's wrong, but you don't believe them? Are all those people who love you wrong? No. Your solution to painful feelings has been to control your body through your eating disorder. Now your eating disorder controls you. Admit it: Your life is out of control. Step 2. Believe two things: "Change is possible" and "I deserve to have a better life." Repeat these two statements to yourself, especially the one concerning a healthier, happier existence. Step 3. Make a decision to change. Decide to tolerate whatever feelings come up if you begin to change your behaviors surrounding food and your body. With the right support and the benefit of time, you will be able to tolerate the uncomfortable and unpredictable feelings that accompany change. Step 4. Make an inventory of the problems you need to address. Be honest about the things you do to hurt or punish yourself. Write down every symptom, from how you eat, to how you exercise, to how you punish yourself for eating, to how you try to lose weight, and to how you degrade and criticize yourself and try so hard to be perfect and need no one. All of these are behaviors you need to change. Again, be painfully honest about how you treat yourselfâ€”this inventory will help guide later steps to recovery. Step 5. Share your inventory with someone who can help you. In other words, come clean! Admit your problems and imperfectionsâ€”people will still care about you. In fact, doing so may draw you closer to others, as they will begin to understand the agony you have been living. You won't have to "act" all the time, and you can concentrate on being yourself. Just be sure that the person you share this with really can help. Your doctor may be a good person to start with, but a therapist or dietitian can help you formulate an exact plan for the next steps. Steps 6-12â€”Giving up the Game Step 6. Develop a plan, but keep it simple. A contract needs to include attainable goals and not be overly ambitious or complicated. Otherwise, it will be overwhelming, just as your eating disorder is. Identify one problem and work on that. Do not set yourself up for failure by trying to change everything at once. The plan can include other people. Especially if you are young or living with your family, involving them can help. If they have a clearly defined role in your recovery, they may not get as frustrated and you can all live together more peacefully. An eating disorder is hard on everyone. Step 7. "Fake it till you make it." Changing any behavior is difficult and takes time before you feel better. Sometimes you have to do something for a long time before you sense a change. Try to believe that you're going to feel better, that the anxiety you feel as you take better care of your body will eventually disappear. Gradually it will, but obsessing over it and avoiding change only makes it worse. Step 8. Take life "one day at a time," or even "one meal at a time" or "one hour at a time." If you have trouble meeting your goal, start again. Give yourself another chance. You have probably had your eating disorder for a long time, and the problems leading up to it have been with you even longer. So be patient. Remember: ''Rome wasn't built in a day"; "No pain, no gain." Come up with some other sayings that will help you be more patient with yourself. Very few people can climb straight up a mountain. Step 9. Build in some rewards for your efforts. Recovery is hard work. Be sure to take care of yourself by indulging in things that will make you feel better. Find ways to soothe yourself. Reading affirmations, doing relaxation exercises, participating in favorite activities that are easy on your body will all help your spirits. List these rewards and allow yourself one of them every day. Step 10. Talk about how you feel as you make changes in therapy, in support groups, or in your interactions with trusted friends and family. As you change your behavior, more feelings will surface. To understand how these feelings contributed to your eating disorder, you need to talk, talk, talk. Writing in a journal each day can help you to remember the issues you want to discuss with your therapist. Remember: You can't do this by yourself. Step 11. Keep on changing. Each week take a look at your contract and decide if it is helping you now. Many people with eating disorders have multiple behaviors to change, so take a look at your inventory and decide which problem to attack next. However, it is also sometimes helpful to stay in the same place awhile. If you have worked hard and don't think you can do anything more right now, simply try to maintain the change you have made before moving on again. Step 12. Believe in yourself and give yourself some credit. Acknowledge what you have accomplished, then, when you are ready, refer to your contract and repeat the steps you have accomplished to reinforce your program. Because eating disorders are so complicated and you had to keep your contract simple, it is now time to review your progress and identify another behavior from your inventory to work on. http://www.mirror-mirror.org/eatdis.htm http://www.aliveness.net/index.htm http://users.neca.com/cwildes/ ttp://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/5395/ http://www.healthyWeightNetwork.com/ http://www.hugs.com http://www.healthyeating.com/ http://www.iop.bpmf.ac.uk/home/depts/psychiat/edu/eat.htm

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Username: wberpunk

Gender / Age: Female, 38

Location: USA - New York