uns3ttl3d's Journal

Dec 2006
5:35 PM EDT

What is a true fact? WHen you come to think of it there is a certain amount of truth to everything. Same thing goes opposite way. THere is always something there to deceive you. It's somewhat like a ratio. And these all abide to every 'known fact' to man. I think God's greatest gift to mankind is the ability to think and to question. WHy go along with what the rest of the world is thinking and doing without any questioning to yourself as to why you are doing everything in a set and standard way without thinking it through your own way first? Always thinking...always questioning. It certainly drives me to a point of some degree of insanity but that's what makes me who i am. I think to a degree me intelligence and ability to question has been channeled into the wrong direction and all the energy has gone stale to the point i end up at dead ends everywhere i go. but i will keep fighting. i will keep questioning. i feel like everything simple in life is a metaphor for something much greater...everything takes place in patterns. everything takes place in extracted patterns, so complex and so commonly occuring to the point we just ignore it and it goes by and dies. we need to grasp that opportunity to sit there and think what nobody else has ever thought of before. we need to cease it and make meaning of it, because who else will? we are given the ability to be different. different in many many ways. some subtle differences...others much larger. we experience everything differently from one another. we are all so similar but completely different from one another, so why bother to conform into the identity and ideas of others when you are destined to become someone and something else? perhaps destiny doesnt exist. that is because one, for the most part, is in charge of their own destiny. man creates his own destiny. sure there are a given amount of circumstances that may perhaps interfere with that, but one must live their own destiny. not the destiny of others. embrace your differences. embrace them because that is who YOU are and no one else can take that from you. And so this is why i believe it is best to obliterate one's inhibitions. To never commit to one mindset and always remain open minded. To never allow oneself to censor one's thoughts. Denial and restraint only keep us from confronting the truth. THe truth of what, i do not know. Just the one and single truth that deep down in the backs of our minds and hearts and souls that we are dying to know. The world that lies beyond the physical...whether it exists or not. Whether you abide by a certain religion in which you found great comfort to rely on, as if it were some kind of crutch to keep you from questioning. From being cynical. See, i dont understand why being cynical and negative is so bad because it, at least for me, keeps me thinking more about 'facts' and knowledge and truth i come up with based upon my own life and my own mind and my own thoughts, not those of others. It's called logic. It's called one's own set of beliefs derived from who they are, not what others believe. I am a cynic. I am a constant questioner. I am null, i am void, i am weird. I dont get why people are so offended if they are ever labeled with the term 'weird'. Id rather be myself then be 'normal'-code-following what everyone else believes and mimicking all their actions instead of being my own true self. Essentially being labeled 'weird', even though labels and generalizations and categorizing a unique individual into a dumbed down subject is something of which i am strongly opposed, is something that one should embrace openly because all it really means is that you are being yourself. You are doing things your way. You are living your life and thinking with your own mind. And as for my view of emotions...having been a highly emotionally sensitive person my entire life all i can say is that the improper amount of emotions usually if not always ends up in depression. Emotions are just the "hearts" defense mechanism. They tell you how you yourself can relate and trust other people, other things, insludimng yourself. but there is one major drawback. all emotions, or at least most, are irrational. they keep you from thinking realisticly. they keep you from achieving things. they hold you back. they are rooted from irrationality. Irrationaly took my brother's life, and it continually threatens my own. Therefore i have come to the conclusion that, for my own sake, i will be as emotionless as i can. i will become a brick wall. i will be a zombie. i will not care. i will not cry. i will only think with all emotions set aside. i want the raw truth. i just want the fucking raw truth. behind existence and behind all things. people and relationships tend to interfere. sure i am about to drive myself to the point of insanity...but i'd rather go this route that live s predestined life of a 'normal' person. its just not for me, you see? it's just not for me. i just want to be free.

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uns3ttl3d's Profile

Username: uns3ttl3d

Gender / Age: Female, 37

Location: USA - New York

UNS3TTL3D's Interests:

About Me: scatter-brained, spacey, lost, pig. i try my best to postpone the inevitable and time has ultimately expired.

Interests: anything and everything

Favorite Music: cat power, rage against the machine, radiohead, porcupine tree, sonic youth, modest mouse, the pixies, the cinematics

Favorite Movies: lost in translation, edward scissorhands, requieem for a dream, pans labyrinth, the pursuit of happiness, thelma and louis, benny and joon, whats eating gilbert grape, lorenzos oil, pi, eternal sunshine, stigmata, what dreams may come, gia, juno, little miss sunshine.

Favorite Television: heroes

Favorite Books: i spy and wheres waldo, because i dont really read.

UNS3TTL3D's Friends:
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