tiahe's Journal

 
    
23
Sep 2007
5:58 PM EST
   

Why do we do this, why do we even talk anymore. I dont see a point nor i probably ever will. Don't just assume that you know me anymore, because you dont you know nothing about me. I'm not a bad influence, and I'm not going to pressure anyone into doing anything they dont want to do, because I hate when people do that to me. Don't just assume I'm this bad person, and its my life. It really doesn't matter if I do it or not, I dont think I'm cool, and not everyone is like me and I'm not like everyone. Your right it was weird actually talking today, but when we were together in person it was so awkward you were the reason I cried. Just seeing you, its been almost four months then one night with your girlfriend we hang out again. I'm sorry I avoided you, I'm sorry I even said sorry, I'm sorry I hugged you, I'm sorry I asked you to make sure things weren't awkward but after that it just got worse. I'm sorry I actually cared enough for it to make my night shit, I'm sorry I want things to be fine between us again, and I dont mean being friends, I just mean that everything is fine because I still haven't let everything go when I know I should. I'm sorry that I gave/give up, I'm sorry for the past and everything in the future, I'm sorry we're still talking. You know I say sorry a lot, but also know every sorry I make I actually mean, and even if its not nessicary I still feel the need to say it. So I'm sorry once again for everything.
A lots changed for both of us, your a better person now you just not the same and to tell you the truth I'm really proud of who you are now, and I still dont think people understand you, I sure as hell don't. I never have but it doesn't mean I dont understand you either. I would be so happy and proud of everything you've done this far in your life, a couple mistakes you've made have been bad but for you the good always makes up for it. Your a good guy, sometimes I just wish you'd cut her some slack and hold her from the heart ache. I'm sure she does it too, but for her shes done nothing wrong to deserve anything bad, but you still need a little more.
I miss being close, I miss being able to talk about the awkward things without it being awkward, I miss just being about to call you. You were someone special but your not really anymore, but to anyone who asks your one of the greatest people i've ever met even though no one knows why after everything that has happened. Some people judge you before they get to know you, and most of the time thats to bad but you probably wouldn't let them in anyways. When you do let people in though, they are really really privledged people, because your a really great friend more of the time to your friends. Anyone is lucky to have you as a friend, and the friends you do have are actually also some of the most amazing people I have ever met. You pick really good ones, no wonder you never really get hurt by those people.
I hope your actually happy with your life, because I'm overly jealous I always have been since we became friends, and I've always envyed you more then any other one of my friends. You just are so strong and powerful and you know how to use your power, even though you do take people for granted sometimes it doesn't matter because everyone does at times. I think sometimes your to emotional, kinda like a girl lmfao but other then that you've got yourself together. You hold yourself high, and at least you know who you are because most people dont, i really dont know who I am or even really who I want to be.
It's been a while since I've really said anything about you, I just still can't handle it, and it sucks a lot because my best friend is dating you. I finally want to be fine, just friends not best friends or close friends but just friends. No strings attached, you really dont know how much I would appriciate that. I just miss being friends, I dont want to be like before, not one thing like before. We're still the same minus everything. This is to you, old best friend, and new friend. I hope this time we never fight even though you think its funny to fight with me. Time can only tell, and your one hell of a person to give up on 100%.
I hope this time your not such a fuck face.
:) heres to being friends.
good luck.
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tiahe's Profile

  • Username: tiahe
  • Gender / Age: Female, 32
  • Location: Canada
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    About Me: I'm probably like most people you meet:) Nothing special, and im not complicated at all!

    Interests: Writing, swimming, colour:D, friends, V.Johnson - A.Merrifield - L.Voisin - J.Boucher - L.Avery(L)

    Favorite Music: Regina Spektor,FM static,Taylor Swift,Sum 41,T.I,Akon,No Use For A Name,Tegan and Sara,Ten Second Epic,Seconds to Go

    Favorite Movies: The Ron Clark Story; Freedom Writers; Dejavu; Pride; Fracture; Gridiron Gang; Shooter; Crash; Next;

    Favorite Television: That 70's Show: Grey's Anatomy: Ugly Betty: The OC: One Tree Hill: The Hills: Laguna Beach: The Real World: Big Brother: Gilmore Girls:

    Favorite Books: The Clique Series; The Insides Series; etc.

    TIAHE's Friends:
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