tiahe's Journal

Best Friends:

Seems like no one is really my best friend anymore, I know I have them but only a couple now. I have Taylor, Jessie, Tori, and Anne. I don't really tell anyone anything though, so everything will go on here instead. Trusting anyone lately isn't easy, to me it seems none existant anymore, to tell you the truth I dont even believe in trust at the moment. I know you're suppose to tell your best friend everything, and I know even if someone loves you that they will still at one time or another hurt you, but lately they've hurt me to much.

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Taylor Walpole:

You've hurt me by lying, by not calling me anymore, or talking to me on msn. I know I don't call you, but you already put that responsibility in my hands and to tell you truth right now, I don't really care where this friendship is even going. Everytime you have a boyfriend, where do I fit in? I don't, this time I really thought it was going to change, but it hasn't. You'll just come running back, and this time just like the last I might not be there but this time I might not be there forever. You'll just have to move on, because unlike Joey, I could be in your life forever. We're suppose to be best friends, and not just when you don't have some one just as important, I want to be your best friends at all times. I hate that I'm your second choice, even if you don't think it that way, thats really how it is, because in any situation I'm not sure who you'd pick me or him, but if you don't learn how to manage us you'll only have him to choose. Soon its going to be over, and I'll be the one who says good bye first. It doesn't seem worth it anymore, it just doesn't. I'm really sorry, but time will only tell, and I'd like to hope times on your side this time.

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Jessica Boucher:

You've hurt me by giving up, and betraying my trust. I know we're friends again, and we're still close, but I can't keep going through the heard aches of not being friends then being friends again, and so on. I want to be best friends with you more than anyone else believe it or not. I just need to be able to fully trust you again, I'm just so scared that you'll find this to hard again, and you'll find another way out and then in again. I'm so scared that everything I tell you, might go to Parys or Lauren but really I dont trust either of them, and right now I'm just starting to trust you again, only because you've put your trust in me. You're one person I know I can tell things to because you'll understand, and if you dont understand you want to, because I know you care. I know you care because I can feel it, I love you so much for it.  Just please this time I don't want it to be like before.  The past hasn't been the greatest for us so this time, I want it to be a little different because this time I wanna stay friends. Every fight we get in arn't small they are huge, and we stop being friends, because we know each other so well that we know our fights will get to big to handle, and that we'll just get more hurt if we carry it on then if we end everything. Doing that though, seems to make me believe less and less in our friendship. I miss us, I miss being so close that nothing could come between us, thats what I want again a REAL best friend, and you're the person I want that with. I think we can do it, because its what I want and need.