It's been almost a year since I've written on here. So many things have changed, and yet so many have stayed the same. I want to ask Justin so badly several things but I know the answer I'll get "I don't know" or "I don't think about it". What if he never saw me again? Would he be okay with that? I think about him daily, do I ever cross his mind other than when my nickname comes on Guitar Hero? Could he live without ever kissing me again? Does he keep seeing me only out of routine and habit because he doesn't want to try and find someone else? Does he keep coming back to me because I know him and know how he is and he doesn't feel like getting to know another girl? I don't know if he'll ever be able to take a chance and for real "date" again. He says the next three years scare him. I don't understand why, he knows where he's going to college, what he's going to study and even what job he'll have when he gets out. Will he one day just wake up and realize I've been standing in front of him the past year and a half? I doubt it. I think some other girl will come along and knock him off his feet. Maybe she can break the wall he's built up thanks to his last girlfriend. I don't think it'll be me though. I have realized that it's easier for me to deal with him than anyone else though. I guess we're alike in that we don't want to figure out another person, when we know each other well enough already. I know that no one else kisses me like he does and that I don't get nearly as excited about any other guy as I do about him. Going through a few guys at the start of the school year helped me realize that I'd rather have Juice break my heart than anyone else, because I know what to expect when he does. I know him and know his way of doing things. I trust him to break my heart the same way every time by just walking away. Every time he leaves, he takes a little bit of me with him.
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