sparklerainbow91's Journal

Oct 2006
11:30 AM PST

Nick, What to do? today was like so bad! last night i found nicks myspace. on it he talks about lexi, lexi, lexi! i have such bad luck in love. i would have thought that i would have gotten a bf before Ashley ever did. boy was i wrong! she got one at the football game. i was like so happy for her and all, but at the same time, i was so sad that i nick has a gf. who would have known that nick is with lexi? there is like definitely no chance in heaven or hell that he will even notice me, let alone get with me. so here i am looking for a bf, but no such luck. i have never been one of those pretty, popular, skinny girls. i have been taller than most of the guys i have ever met let alone seen. i have been rejected so many times i am just use to it now. it is a part of my daily schedule. none of the guys i have ever liked has never liked me back. how sad it that! i finally get over this guy who i thought was so amazing in every way, to find out that the guy i got over him had a gf. i like every guy who is taken or doesn't like me back. i mean i am not ugly, i am pretty and really smart. i can be annoying some times when i get hyper, but who doesn't get annoying? i was standing by my friends and nick walked by. he looked at me and i looked at him. we locked eyes until he walked away. it was like no one else was there except for the two of us. it was so nice. he is in football. he is like so cute and tall. finally some one taller than me. i feel wrong for liking some one i know i can have no future with though. he has been with lexi for 10 months. i don't want to break them up, but i thought we had a moment at the game. i think that he is more into her than she is into him. that is just my opinion though. he talks about her on his myspace a lot. she doesn't say one thing about him on hers. someone also told me that she only got with him because of his personality and not because of his looks. i love his looks and his personality. by reading his myspace, i can tell he is a good guy. when Noel wanted to walk away from Ashley, nick was telling him, go back and wait for her. go back and wait. i feel like we had something just for that split moment. it was so nice. i wish i had a chance. i really do. i have never had good luck in love. i cant even name one person that has had a crush on me. that is really sad. i have never been hit on, only as a joke or something. i mean Robert tells me that i am not fat, ugly, and that there is nothing wrong with me when i say there is. i mean, whydon't guys ask me out? do i give off some vibe of being a bitch or something. i don't mean to. i don't smile all the time, but who does? i just want to be with a guy that loves me as much as i love him. all my friends have had bfs, except for me. even some of the ugly and fat ones. but here is me pretty and not fat, and still single. my friends try to make me feel better by saying stuff like he wasn't the one or you still have a chance. that is what i love about Robert, he tells me the truth straight up, even if it hurts. i feel so lucky to have him as a friend. he makes me feel better no matter what happens. he is always there for me and always will be. anyways back to the nick subject. i think i should just give up on love. why not? no one will ever like me. i might as well become gay or something. i really don't like girls, so i think that is going to be a problem. lol. i mean i really don't have a chance. he isn't in any of my classes, i don't see him at school, and the only time i see him is at the games, where his gf is. i mean that is the first time i have seen him at school. well i really didn't see him at school anyways. i remember seeing him in the yearbook and thinking, wow he is like the only hot guy in this yearbook. oh well my dreams. at least i get to see him in my dreams. i cant even tell if i am flirting or not. or even if someone is flirting with me. so many times i have been tricked by guys. i thought that yeah they totally like me because of whatever they did. but no, my senses failed me again. i am just like a hopeless girl looking for love in all the wrong places. i feel as if there is like no hope at all. my friends keep me happy with hope. well until tomorrow, ill let you know how my day goes.

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sparklerainbow91's Profile

Username: sparklerainbow91

Gender / Age: Female, 33

Location: USA - California

SPARKLERAINBOW91's Interests:

About Me: Well, i am 15 year old and a freshman in highschool. I enjoy watching movies, hanging with friends, hanging with family, and whatever else is fun.

Interests: I love animals and children. I like to talk on the phone and hang out with friends and family. I like to do adventurious stuff, but i also like to stay at home too.

Favorite Music: I like really any music except for metal and some country. Other wise, i am open to anything.

Favorite Movies: I am a movie fan. I love both the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Any comedy movies, some romatic movies. I am up for any movies, except for scary movies. I hate scary movies!

Favorite Television: I am a huge television person. Whether it is watching shows, to movies to anything.

Favorite Books: I am a book reader. I like to read books that take me out of my life and into another. I also like books that inform me of theings that I didn't know before.