Today will have to be the day that I would write a letter to W. I have put it off long enough and just need to get it done with so both he and I can move on from this. I know it won't be easy and I know it will hurt him. I don't want you to think that this comes without a personal struggle of my own as well. It is always hard to close one chapter of your life and not remember all the pleasant memories of that chapter. I wish I could snap my fingers and place me three or four months in the future where none of this would hurt as bad. I just read through all of these entries and discovered I am complaining about the same things I did three years ago. It is going to be an on going issue that only I can change. Today is a big step in making that change and although I wish it was over with I know that the journey will force me to come up with strengths that I didn't know I had, lean on friends that I didn't know were so willing to help and come out a stronger person than I knew I could be.