shejustloves's Journal

Oct 2006
8:45 AM CST

I still have not talked to my husband much. Only to yell at him. He has been staying at the bar until 2:30 all weekend. Last night I told him I could just move a bed there for him so is that he wouldn't have to be bothered by coming home to his wife. He has still not apoligized and that alone makes me want to leave him and start a new life. Then I start to think what a big step that will be and I am a bit intimedated by it all. I know I will be fine on my own. I was alone before I met him. Perhaps it is the enormous and foolish size of my heart that feels bad for what he will lose. I know the whole story...live for you...make yourself happy...he did this to himself. But it is all so different when you are in the situation. I wish someone could swoop in and make this choice for me. I miss the simplicity of my life. When we were happy and new. I miss knowing that he loved me. I thought he would be the one person that I would never have to question his love for me...all that has changed in the past 2 months.