Today's quote is funny. I have always tried to get my mothers approval. But in her confusion and agitation, she often tells me I am mean, she never wants to see me again, and she hates me, I want her in chains, in prison, et.c I do not take it personally any more. She is like a broken record....annoying but not harmful. I tell myself it is the disease speaking. So my fear of being disliked has been overcome.
I also feared having to put her into an institution, saying I would never let that happne. After only 2 weeks of living with this chaos, of hearing recommendations from 2 experts that it's the thing to do, I am coming to terms with it. I strongly wish I didn't have to do it. I wish she were not so impaired. I wish she could enjoy here and now things more, instead of fearing that pipes are broken, cars are missing, her dog is run away,Bill having an affair with Nonnie, her foot broken, and her stomach upset.
And Holiday time, snowstorm, and working with State Employees means that most action on these things will have to wait over two weeks--till after the New Year.
Seeing through all these fears, this nightmare will surely keep me safe, per the quote.
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