redshotlizard's Journal

Jun 2008
6:22 PM HNT

I have not written here in such a long while. I stopped writing after I got busy with work and school and everything that has been going on in my life. On Thursday May 29th, 2008 I went to the park in my city with a friend. we were just chilling and having fun. Actually we were laying around in the dirt under a tree. I have talked to this kid many times on the computer and many times through text messages. His friend, whom I know, introduced us to each other. I will never forget how that happened. And we finally meet at the park in the playground. Well anyways, this guy and I begin writing to each other in the sand and idk how this happened...but he asked me out in the sand and I closed my eyes and thought about it for a little while..and then opened my eyes and wrote yes in the sand. I was shocked with myself. My heart was pounding and I felt scared. Idk how to explain the feeling exactly but I my body was swirling in the wind as if my soul had escaped. From that day, my life was changed. I will never forget how sweet that day was. But as the days go by and I remain his and he remains mine, I think to myself: "Was this too quick?", "Did I overreact to this situation?", "What will become of the two of us?", Am I just being scared?", "I am so confused", "I just need to think about what I want in life", "I want this to last", "I want this to work out and I just wish things would work more smoothly". Idk what to do and Idk what to think anymore. I am very much attracted to this guy, but at the same time I am very much scared for us both. I'm trying not to let my fears take over, but this I cannot help because I really like this kid and I want this to work out. I want to fight for us to be together. But all in all I will understand if one of us or both of us wants to take a break from this all- No matter what I will be there for him through thick and thin- he means so much to me because he is always there to talk to when I need him, he makes me laugh (I haven't smiled or laughed in so long and he changed that), and idk what it is about him that makes me soo happy when I see him. Additionally, this guy: with every kiss and every hug, he makes me fall even more in love with him. But I want what is best for him and for us..I want it to work out with us, but if it is not meant to be than so be it. <3 elizabeth

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redshotlizard's Profile

Username: redshotlizard

Gender / Age: Female, 36

Location: USA

REDSHOTLIZARD's Interests:

About Me: I love to read and write. I love to sing and I love to run. I love someone and hope to eventually get him to love me 2. I love you :)