nodeadends's Journal

Aug 2007
6:30 AM EDT

Envisioning the pastor being that close helps me behave myself. For sure if the pastor was truly there in that moment he would probably tried to slay the so called lust demon in both of us. Kissing James was nice, but I remember my mom used to say kissing leads to other things. Iam not prepared to take it there with him anyway.

But with Chad (whom I bumped into when I ordered curry chicken at the establishment his dad owns.) its difficult to keep my hands off of his married ass. Even though his hair is growing back, he is fine as ever. The sex was beyond good. We had our perimeters in place, no oral sex and always protected! MMM good. I wanted to put it on him right then! Men like him make it hard for me to maintain abstinence. When we were kicking it before emotions starting getting deep and I had to cut him off. He began to make statements like your mine, you better not be fucking other dudes. But he is married, I aint stupid. He scared me off when he start talking about love and some other shit.

On a serious note I am going to continue this path that Iam on. Yes I miss the fun but I am confident that the lifestyle I was leading would've lead to my spiritual and physical demise. And this sista aint going out like that.

They say its not good for man to be aloneHell its not good for me to be alone! God should hurry up and equip a handsome,assertive, intelligent, confident,trustworthy man to deal with me and my bullshit! That is so I can get married, and live the life I want and deserve.

Tags: Rants

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Username: nodeadends

Gender / Age: Female, 18

Location: USA - New York

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