I've got to work on my Differentiation.� I've got to work on improving myself and take care of myself and make decision that is good for me...and not what other people think.
In the past, I let my family run my life.� I was suppose to go to the funeral of my ex-gf.� But their was death taboo which conflicted with my father's memorial.� Something irrational about that.� And I didn't go.� So I abandon my ex gf in her time of trouble.� What kind of moron does that?� Still I should not have listen to them, my family.� Even C told me not to go.� I could not believe it.� Now she says that I have to listen to myself not what the family is telling me to do.
I went to church and I can see that I can be forgiven for that.
Even I'm flawed, God forgives and loves me.� I can't forgive but blame other people and then become angry.� In time maybe I can forgive them and even myself.� I find that I want to exact revenge on them.
I need to pull back like the Work The System book suggest and see clearer what the root of the problem is, to be somewhat emotionally detached.