ladylyn501's Journal

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HI IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE MY LAST ENTRY, LIGHT HAS STILL YET TO GO OFF IN MY HEAD . NOTHING HAS CHANGE IN OUR LIVES YET NO REAL PROGRESS �OF TRUTHS, HOWEVER I AM A LITTLE MORE AWARE OF SOMETHING MY HEAD IS NOT AS MUCH IN A COFFIN AS IN THE BEGINNING (WHEN EVER THE BEGINNING WAS) OF ALL THIS CRAZINESS . I NEVER REALIZED HOW HARD LIFE REALLY IS SOME HOW I WAS WALKING TO FREE AND SOME ONE SAW THAT AND DECIDED TO KICK �ME AND MAKE SURE I FEEL IT MUCH LIKE THE PHRASE { PINCH ME TO SEE IF I AM AWAKE} WELL I WAS NOT PINCHED I WAS TOSSED, PLACED IN A COFFIN STATE OF MIND, NOW I AM LEFT FOR DEAD. THESE LITTLE BLOCKS FEELS MUCH LIKE A DEATH SENTENCE TO ME I SAY IT THAT STRONGLY BECAUSE I WASN'T IN TOUCH WITH MYSELF AND SOME ONE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT AND USED IT AS A REALITY STONE{ BUT FILLED WITH LIES, TRICKERY AND DECEIT} IN MY PATH AND TOOK MY KIDS LIFE AWAY FROM ME LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT AND HERE ALL I SEEM TO DO LATELY IS JOURNAL TO SURVIVE MY MIND SET ALL I SEEMS TO THINK ABOUT IS THAT SOME HOW I ALLOWED IT, I AM STUPID BECAUSE I HAVE NO REAL SURVIVOR SKILLS I COULDN'T PRESERVE MY OWN FAMILY FROM ALL THE TRICKERY MIND GAMES THAT WAS PLAYED IN ALL OUR LIVES. MY FAMILY WAS DIVIDED INTO SO MANY PLANE FIELDS OF GAMES THAT I JUST CAN'T EVEN BEGAN TO EXPLAIN IT RIGHT NOW. MY SON WAS THE TARGET THE WHOLE TIME EVERYTHING ELSE WAS REAL BUT JUST SMOKE SCREENS IN MY HEART THIS SMELLS OF POLITICS, RESEARCHERS, AND MUCH MORE THAN I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW. I MISS HIM HE OF ALL OF US DON'T DESERVE THIS CRAZINESS..................BY FOR NOW.......THANKS FOR YOU EARS

LADYLYN OUT �