ladybug20's Journal

 
    
04
Sep 2006
2:21 PM PST
   

So I did it ...I faced myself in a way I never thought I would. When I moved closer into the city, I was running away from everyone in the small hometown. But thanks to one of my best friends, and hopefully someone serious one day I faced the demons. I will deal with my health issues as much as I can, and I took a step out of me and took a look in. Jay did the same thing when he went camping, (I couldn't go, minor health issue) but I think he over analzyed. I just took a look in, and analyzed what I saw. I am very analystic person, but if you "over analyze" you get the wrong impression. I learned some things about me I don't quite think I was ready to learn, but with him by my side I think I can do it. And I don't even know how to thank him ...it's not just something I can say ...he is helping me turn myself around. I guess when you make a fresh start, things come back and punch you in the face. So with all of this thinking, I am hoping that one day we can full fledged be together as long as he doesn't let everyone run his life for him. But he is looking to get into the groove ...married, or close to anyways, thinking about kids and buying a house etc. Im only in University ...could that be the thing that pushes us apart? I hope not ...it's still early ...marriage wouldn't come for a few years, and by that time i'll have my BA ...work for a couple years, have ONE kid, and work part time? It sounds realistic ...but somehow I know life will throw a curve ball in there ...what would life be without curve balls? I just hope he is willing to wait, if he can realize the potential long term wise with us. My philosophy ...if you care about someone, either let them go and come back to you, or just be patient. Even though patience is not my strong suit. Or do I even bother to see where it goes? Should I just give up now ...save the friendship and a lot of hurt down the road if he isn't willing to wait for me to start my life? So much to think about ...so little time ...
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  • Username: ladybug20
  • Gender / Age: Female, 38
  • Location: Canada
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