jesssie's Journal

Last night i was looknig through pictures, and i found pictures of my nana, and i had a breakdown and it was awful. i had to talk to my dad and then i went on msn from my phone and tried to talk to alex kutas but my phone was being fucking GAY so it shut off and i REALLY needed someone to tlak to. i tried texting ben and he never nanswered and i think its because of that stupid girl who told him hs not allowed to text girls.:$ okay?? and i tried to text tiah but she didnt answer either, i was going fuckin nuttso. anyways i put a pic of my nana on my bedside table, and on the other table i put a picture of my still alive grampa.

last night i had a dream about my grandma and it was frustrating. she was sick, and so was my grandpa but my grandma was more sick. and my uncle todd asked everyone if they wanted to have a smoke. and me, i just thought it was the end of the world when he said that becasue MY GRANDMA was SICK! why was he even CONSIDERING smoking in front of her?? and so i said 'what the fuck do you think you're doing!! shes sick! your killing her!" i said that to the entire family adn then i just left and started crying.

i really miss her so much like i think about her every day and i talk to her every night and i want so bad for her to come back in my life, i just want to see her again:(:(