forgotten's Journal

 
    
22
Nov 2006
11:46 AM ACST
   

hallelujah - imogen heap, such a moving song... feel so empty tonight, grandads leaving in 3 days... guna be so argh just so horrible thinking tha it may be the last time... i know it may not be, but who knows? hes 76 and i just have a feelin it is the last time, and i just hate this gut feeling i have! its just like i dont want to have any regrets..i had it last time with my nan i can remember it exactly, it was the day i got home from holiday with claire from south of france last year, and my nan came in hugged me at the beginnin however i had such a terrible cold, and after she had dinner with us all tha evenin she was really quiet... she just listened to all my stories...and she said to my mum she felt tired and my mum said stay... but my nan bein who she was wanted to get home... and wen she called me down to say gdbye, i said i wont kiss you nan because i have a really bad cold... and i didnt kiss her and ever since then im jsut worried ill make a mistake like that that will stop me not doin somethin wen its the last itme i could do it...
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28
Oct 2006
11:30 AM ACST
   

I honestly jim, i honestly duno wats happened, i i dont know what else to say! my heads in such a mess lately, and so are my feelings, so i dont really know how to make it sound like it makes sense? ARGH! this doesnt even make sense itself lol, :P did the song not explain? i need to know what gaps need fillin in ... and then mayb then i could fill them in? i think that would be easiest. i recieved a text from chris tellin me to check my emails and that he heard it was somethin with me bein jelous of that girl? thats not wat i meant by the email btw.... i didnt mean it like that and hope thats not wat u think. i mean i guess i prob am jelous lol... but thats not wat i meant. see jim im not even makin sense to myself? im sittin here in australia a million miles away from you at 12:13 am writin am email to one of my closest friends tryin to expain how i feel whilst listenin to kate rusby - who will sing me lullabies. i just dont understand my own feelings atm! jesus christ this is deeep lol... oh dear god what am i doin? what the hell am i doin? i honestly dont know... i actually feel sick, i just wish i could understand myself, so i could tell you, it just i duno sometimes scares me how alike we are, in so many different ways... our interests,our humour,our opinions,our dreams, our music, even places we both love ...cough cough australia :P and just things for instance since iv moved away i know people have made an effort too stay in contact but you ALWAYS email back, always send me songs that have a meaning and that you know i'll love. you always make a time for me on msn, you dont give me shit advice saying ' i know how it feels' or ' itl get better' you listen your always a breathe of fresh air - dont laugh its the best de scription :P but its true, a breathe of fresh air too talk too... were always honest... you dont judge me. you dont care if i block some knob on msn ...you dont care about my past... you have helped me with so MANY problems... well thats about it dont want to give you TOO MANY compliments now do I :) Dont want jim gettin a too big head now do we... no no :) well i hope this has helped clear things up a lil bit... and please leme know what blanks i need to fill in :) ' I love you i do ' :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx thats the email i sent him... do i regret it? not sure... have i made the right decision? not sure... am i a knob? YEAP lol
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23
Oct 2006
8:43 AM ACST
   

sorry i make my diary entrys private! otherwise it defeats the object of a diary tbh... lol thats why my public entrys are just snipits :) xx
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18
Oct 2006
10:26 AM ACST
   

just like with me at the moment , one step forward... and then three steps back u know?
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1 comment(s) - 06:12 PM - 10/17/2006
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07
Oct 2006
8:47 AM ACST
   

argh im so annoyed just spent like an hour writing a long entry! and it got deleted!!! btw all my main entrys are private... otherwise defeats the object of a diary lol! but ermmm i thought i'd leave a lil public message as so many people got back to my last one and i only just realised! BASICLY! iv just moved to australia from the uk with my family or because of my parents one of the two! missing everyone like crazy, hate it! met so many shit people over here so far, maybe thats because i had so many great friends in england and just compare not too sure.... but yeah kinda going through a shit time at the moment :(
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28
Sep 2006
10:03 AM ACST
   

'Loneliness becomes worrying when it feels normal' :(
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4 comment(s) - 10:56 AM - 10/06/2006
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forgotten's Profile

  • Username: forgotten
  • Gender / Age: Female, 34
  • Location: United Kingdom
    •  
     
     
    FORGOTTEN's Interests:

    About Me: hiya :) im fran, just imigrated to Perth aussie from the uk... been here 8 weeks... lovin the weather hatin this feelin of utter sadness!! hmmm can only get better right?

    Interests: i love... my friends family <3 sunny days watchin friends to cheer u up :) eatin a whole tub of ice cream! dancing :) being drunk! being hyper... doing crrrrrazy things with my friends being in love.... feeling loved! I hate... being alone being cold missing people :( feeling alone being broke.... not being a train ride from london!! english shops!!

    Favorite Music: a complete and utter range :)