eveycan2's Journal

 
    
14
Nov 2006
3:19 PM CDT
   

well Mario and I still living under the same roof but ever since I have been seeing that there is no hope for us my feelings have changed so much towards Mario. I don't care what he does or how he feels about me anymore, and it's not like things have changed between him and I. You would think that since I dont pay as much attention to him as I was before that he would grow a little closer to me but that is not the case. Not to mention I was at a club 2 weeks ago and I saw this girl that Mario and I know, she was telling me that at a picnic over the summer her cousin and Mario hit it off, she said that her cousin liked him and they exchanged phone numbers...and get this..........she's a stripper!!!! Well when I confronted him he said that all he did was help her get a job at a strip joint that he used to go to..oh yeah, that helped!! Im so over this stage in my life, and ready to move on, my b-day was last week 11/3 and im now 30 years old, Id say it's time to get my real life started and stop living a lie!! It's time to move on. Im going to do just that. I need to relocate for my job in 3 months anyway. Everything happens for a reason, this permotion was my savior, and made me open my eyes and realize HE WONT CHANGE, they hardly do!
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11
Oct 2006
7:21 PM CDT
   

today was a good day. Mario and i can finally agree that we grew apart. I thought being togather 14 years can only make us stronger, but it made me week which allowed him to take advantage of my love. well something woke up inside of me. better late then never
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09
Oct 2006
3:12 PM CDT
   

havnt been expressing my thought's hear lately but it has been an interseting few weeks, I almost wish I could meet someone who can forfill the emptyness ive been experiencing with my man. I went out to a local bar with somne friends and ran into a guy who i grew up with as a child....my my my has he grown into a man. A hot handsome man. It's interseting how all I could think about was my man, and how I wouldnt want him to cheat on me so I cut him short really fast and let him know I had a man. I havn't been spending much time here at home. Ive been out everyday with my girlfriend cause im tired of waiting at home for my man to come home. My man is still a jerk but trying to be home a litttle more. we actually had a serious conversation last week about breaking up, it's so easy to get over someone when there is someone else in your life to fill that void, so he's obviously cheeting, or he really just dont care. well thats all for now....
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19
Sep 2006
4:15 PM CST
   

Today was such a hard day at work. on the upside I did some shoping, jeans are great. I just love this not to hot not to cold weather. Well another argument wth mario. I took a long drive after are arrgument about how im tired of being ignored. I decided im going to give him his space,I cant continue to be so worried about rather or not he loves me. instead i will treat him as im treated...non existant. I told him i would like to stay friends while we remain in the same apartment, But im definately going to start looking. I guess after 13 years you just slowly grow apart and I have to except that...
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17
Sep 2006
1:25 PM EDT
   

ooops not EDT... CST...6:25pm I woke up this morning and Mario (B/F) was not in the bed. Then he had the nerve to walk in at 11am. we argued as usual but of course he can care less what I think. he told me he dont want to have to answer to anyone. he gives me hints all the time about how he's a man and he will do whatever he wants when he wants. but when I say im tired of it he pays a little more attention to me for a couple days, then it's back to being Mario again. im tired of him being out all day and him never spending any time with me at all. He is hurting me and dont even realize it. All I want is to be happy and feel loved. after 14 years I just feel like I have to hang on, and he really is a nice person. I think I love him to much and he dont love me enough, at least not like he used to. Its hard for me to let go after all these years....Dammit Mario...just listen for once......
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1 comment(s) - 07:58 PM - 10/10/2006
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  • Username: eveycan2
  • Gender / Age: Female, 48
  • Location: USA - Illinois
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