my first few of these are probably going to be completely stupid and annoying, but i dont really care at this precise moment. i really just want to punch sarah in the freakin face, she really
pisses me off. i can't believe that she has a boyfriend and yet she still kisses alex. that really bugs me, i mean, i didn't know that she had a boyfriend until about 12 hours ago, but when i
watched them kiss i just wanted to throw up. Her face was like completely lit up and she just laughed and gave me this evil look when they finished, i almost flipped her off, but i decided
against it. i just wish that i could punch her. and i will if she pisses me off enough, seriously, everybody hates her so freaking much. she just refuses to admit that she realizes it. she just
wants the attention, and she probably loves all the attention that we're giving her. i love how she thinks i'm jealous. what would i possibly be jealous of? her A cups? no, i love my boobs! lol.
well, i hated that fight i got into with jordan today, because she's my friend, but if she's gonna switch sides on me, then i'm gonna yell at her. i hate that i've lost emma as my best friend,
but just after everything that's happened, and everything that i've done, i wouldn't blame her if she just decided to never be friends with me again. i'm listening to pink right now, and i'm just
thinking about people and basically everything. like how i think that i like will. and i'm really hoping that i dont get too caught up into him, i'm trying to hold back, but i'm not sure how well
i can do that. right now, i just want to be friends with him, because it's so much fun being a friend. and i dont want to go through what we went through last year. he asked me�who i was dating
and i said nobody, why? and he said "because�i always sees�you with different guys and always wonders which one that�your dating." which makes me think that he's taking his time to think about
me. and it makes me feel good about myself. and i think that i've always had the tinyist of feelings for him, because i mean, he was my first true love, and it's really hard to
forget that, because at Stubenville, while he was flirting with this other chick, i was getting jealous and i thought that i was starting to like him, but i didn't really talk to him much after
that and i just worried about drew so i guess i didn't really think about him. last year i didn't see him like at all so i didn't think about him much except at church. so really, i've probably
always had feelings for him. i was looking at him today and he looked so different from the boy that i had feelings for two years ago. (damn, it's been two years) he's gotten bigger, he's not the
twig that i used to know, he has muscles and i was always waiting for him to get his license and i'm sure that now that he's 16 and he can, legally, get his license. i had been
counting down until we were old enough to "date", and that age is finally almost here. i'm such a different girl than the girl that fell in love with him. i was thinking about that the
other day, how i'm so much more confident around him and that i probably dont seem so immature to him anymore. well, i can't seem to get him out of my head.
and at the same time, all i can think about it alex. and will. ugh. i just want to like will and not alex. but i dont want to like will too much and get as emotionally scar-ed as
i did once before.
gonna go now
*Jenna*
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