Today was interesting. I started the day off talking to my brother for like 3 hours. Since we hadn't seen each other in months we decided to go skating. I use to go roller skate all the time started when I was 13 stopped when I was 19 & the last time I've been was when I was 20. Skating use to be the hottest thing around.. My brother and his friends had this skate group called the mill town rollers & they had it all the girls, the moves, the hottest cars, clothes, & looks. The group leader was angelo this dark skin, skinny, fly dude who could skate his ass off & I had the biggest crush on him for years. It started when I was 14 and it lasted until I was 18. We almost dated but he played me for a girl who was taking care of him. Giving him money, using her car, she brought his clothes, etc... so I guess I don't blame him for choosing her. All I had at the time were looks. Any way it took me a long time to get over him, and one day I told myself I would still have him. Which I could but he's not wroth my time or the effort. He is like that hot jock in high school that everybody likes but 10 years later he's a dead beat that everybody hates. The from riches to rages story, well that's angelo. Besides angelo I mingled with a few others. Nothing major, but the one who really got under my skin was murphy. He was everything a woman needs in a man, true husband material & I had him. He wasn't the best liking guy but he was presentable. He wasn't my usually type either, but he was so sweet & worshiped the ground I walked on. I guess you can say I was young & dumb because I let him go. For what reason I still don't know I guess cause he wasn't fly enough shallow I know I'm not proud. We never really had closure because I just stopped talking to him one day I just didn't call him or return his calls. So now when every we see each other we don't speak & it's all weird. Well he was at skating & he had his new girlfriend with him light skin. long hair, not as cute as me but she was ok for him. He tried not to look my way but I caught him staring a little. I can tell he still cares, probably going to think about me tonight. Cause I'm going to be thinking about him. I wonder if I should have kept him in my life or if I did the right thing by ending that. I know the way I did it was wrong, but what's done is done. Apart of me wonders what if & that small part of me is keeping we up right now. Let it go!!!!!!!!!!! I had a drink tonight also for the first time in months. It felt good, I even brought me some wine to have for these upcoming stress filled weeks. My brothers best friend tony is having a baby, his girlfriends 10 weeks. He's been wanted this baby for a while now but tony is the type of guy who does not I repeat does not need a kid. It's that bad trust me. Hopefully he grows up more before the kid comes. I'm really proud of my brother he is making really good money as a trunk driver so things are looking good for him. Oh yeah my dad & mom got into this big ass fight today. I really hope they dead there relationship, so my mom can have a little chance at happiness.
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