bettyboxedin's Journal

 
    
16
Oct 2006
9:15 PM CEST
   

I went to my therapist today...unfortanitly she suspects now that i have stopped taking my meds six days ago i am showing not just your old fashioned depression but manic depression. my doctors keep makeing so many mistakes. like six months ago i was written up not schitzophrenic and went untreated for months. IT WAS HORRIBLE. They still say i am not Schitzo but i have all the symptoms so i am filed as possible schitzo. Are there any good doctors left? At least not in this town. not one good doctor. I had this doctor who was horrible a man who was like satan, first was an angel of god who wanted to be god but couldn't so now he is like the devil. ruining everyones life taking pleasure in making his patients suffer. There have been many complaints against him and my therapist suggested i go to a hospital where that doctor doesn't have any rights at. Still haven't seen my boyfriend:( It really sucks there is no one at his house because the cab went to pick him up and no one was home. No one is answering the phone and he is never on msn. I had these horrible night mares about him and he was in my old room at the hospital and he was laying there hooked up in all these tubes and he was dead. the life support just shut off. i fall to my knees in the dream my hands on his and my head on my hands crying uncontrolably. i don't know what i would do if i loose him i love him with my heart and soul he is my best friend. My first love died and i can't go through that again. Things are just not going right today.
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1 comment(s) - 07:11 AM - 10/17/2006
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bettyboxedin's Profile

  • Username: bettyboxedin
  • Gender / Age: Female, 34
  • Location: Canada
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    BETTYBOXEDIN's Interests:

    About Me: i am a self employed artist/ photographer. ummm i live in a small farm town and love it. i am very happy with my life right now i have just gone through 6 years in hell and just met the man of my dreams and since i met him everything has just gone up hill. I have been through a lot and have learned a lot through those experiances. even thought they were hard to go through i got positvie results such as self emprovment and life lessons i will never forget. I volunteer at a homeless shelter and love it! I love horses they are my favorite animal and i am starting volunteer work at a horse farm where they do therepy for kids with dissabilites.

    Interests: my intresting inculde horses, journaling, painting, really long walks and my passion is music and expressing my self through my art (music,painting,photography,journaling ect,)and volunteering at a homeless shelter, and skate boarding and watching my boyfriend compete in skate compatitions

    Favorite Music: my favorite music is punk my favorite punk bads are Rise against and i like Nirvana, and a varietyof other types of music. I also like screamo and classic rock. my fav screamo bands are korn,and Insane clown possy

    Favorite Movies: My favorite movies are the equilibrium, kill bill vol. 1 ( vol.2 sucks) and i like the untouchables, Schindlers List, VIOLENCE!!!!! chickflicks ya they suck

    Favorite Television: UFC, Family Guy, Trailer Park Boys, Kenny v.s Spenny, and Csi.

    Favorite Books: Memoires of a Geisha, the hiding place, number the stars, hatchet, brians winter, the outsiders, and a complicated kindness