berries7cinnamon's Journal

Judith's beautiful.

It's not just me who thinks that way. Many other people think that way too. I went out with her many times, and many guys never fail to turn around and look at her regardless if they have their girlfriends with them or not.

I've been expecting people to approach her and talk with her or get her contact number any time now ever since I went out with her. It happened before when I was with another beautiful friend - Tammi. It happened many years ago and I still remember it clearly, that's also because I don't go out with Tammi as often I do with Judith.

That time when it happened while I was with Tammi, I was shocked. Tam was real cool about it and continue to walk on as if nothing happen and ignore that guy.

After that, I just feel sad. Because that never happens to me before. And it never will, because I was never beautiful, and I never will be.

I'm not ugly, I just look normal. I have a common face. Every new place I go to, someone will never fail to tell me that I looked like a certain someone that they knew or used to know.

I know I shouldn't let what people say bother me, and it wasn't even anything negative. I just felt disappointed. Sometimes I even find it shocking when I look at pictures because even I realised that I looked like someone else when looking through photos.

People will say that I should feel blessed because there are other people who look worse than me. But I feel like someone with no identity. I look like so many people, just who am I, really...

I thought I have outgrown all these, and I even feel that I look prettier than how I used to when I was younger.

Just a few days ago, I went out with Judith and it happened again. I really enjoy her company and she's a very treasured friend. I don't have that many friends.

That guy didn't ask for her contact number. He simply praise her openly and loudly, saying that to his group of friends.

I really feel... Ugly.

It's not that no guys woo me in the past. There were many of them. Some of my closer guy friends told me it was because of my character.

I don't think I have a great personality. Maybe I used to have great traits, but that's all in the past. That happened years ago.

I'm not smart, no great body, not even a nice person. Seriously, just what am I left with?

People say beauty is only skin deep. So what?

People look your face before they look at what's inside.

"Don't let what other people say get you down." Well, I'm just not strong enough.