Well last night after I got off work my manager took me to my boyfriends house and then I�stayed over night with him and had an awesome morning.� I just couldn't sleep last night and I had started rubbing his ***** and ***** and then we ended up doing it.� The only things is I don't want to do it anymore at his house because his roommate has said he has caught us having sex a bunch of times and I don't like the fact that he has seen us and I don't like it so I won't be doing it for awhile till we get our own house.� The only thing that sucked was I left around ten because his mom was picking him up to go do somethings so I didn't get to spend that much time with him.� But I got shoes today and some new work pants.
Well parents went out to the bar and my lil brother went to his girlfriends and then went to his friend's house for the night so I got the house to myself.....oh well except for Baily.� Well I am so stinking bored and its raining outside and its really cold that I don't even want to go outside to smoke a cig.� I hate being by myself and my boyfriend is watching a movie so he won't answer his phone and talk to me.� I have to work in the morning and don't even want to do that. �I am not tired and I am by myself and surfing this damn internet that don't have shit on it to do.� I�am twenty one years old and I don't do much like the whole partying i don't do that shit so I have a boring life.� I never thought my life would get this way but it is and I hate it.� So all I am doing is listening to music and typing and waiting for someone to get on to chat with.
There are points in my life that I just want to end it. �I hate certain people who have made it so terrible and scarey for me to live in this world.� I just thought that I wouldn't ever have to deal with this and now I am. �Ever since I moved back home I have been thinking about this a whole lot more and I don't think that I am going to keep this going too much longer.� If things don't change soon I am going to do it because all I do is work and sleep and deal with being bored all the time and can't even get up and go somewhere.� I hate being bored, I hate that I feel like this. �I never thought that this would be the way I felt.��I am missing out on so much and I can't stand it either.� No one knows how I am feeling and I keep telling this one person how I am feeling and they don't believe me and tell me just to relax and its not that damn easy.� That person is suppose to be there for me and try and talk to me and not just tell me to relax and then end the conversation.� I hate the way that I look, I hate the way I feel, I just wish that I wouldn't wake up tomorrow and maybe people would really get the way that I actually felt.� No one wants to listen to me and no one really wants to be around me and I hate it.� I�always been a loser and always will.� I�know that everything that has ever been said about me is true. I�hope I don't wake up tomorrow.�
Add comment
