auxilary25's Journal

Sep 2010
3:01 PM EDT

Disappointment

I'm disappointed in you. I really believed you changed and cared about us. I thought u wanted to be a father and a part of her life regardless of us being together. I believed in you when you said you loved us. Believing in you was my mistake.

I wish you'd see that I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm not ur enemy I really do love you. I wish you'd help urself and heal your mind so that you can be a part of our daughters life. I wish things could go back to how they were when we were happy.�

God knows why things happen and nothing in life is a mistake. If you leave, if you don't look back then it's for the best. One day I'll find happiness and that man can be a wonderful role model for our daughter. Although you have ur issues u are her father and I'd hate for you to lose that bond and connection. I wish this was easier and she could have her daddy to run to...if only her daddy loved her to get help.

Dear God,

Please heal the wounds that this separation has caused us and our families. Please God light the path towards restoration and peace. May we survive these hard times to have a stronger bond even if it's just a co-parenting relationship. Please wash away the anger, resentment, and any evil thoughts that ruin the happy moments. Please God only you have the power to heal him. If it's ur will just think it and he will be healed forever. Please drive out the demons that cloud his mind and prevent him from finding his way to a life in Christ. If he finds his way to You, God I know he'll never do harm again because anyone who has God in his heart has a conscious to do good. Please let Ur will be done and if it's Ur will for us to go through these hard times and separate then so be it God.

I love you, strength me, and I will try my hardest not to fail you. But I beg You bring peace to my family and the families of everyone in this world.

God is love.

Amen <3

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auxilary25's Profile

Username: auxilary25

Gender / Age: Female, 39

Location: USA - California

AUXILARY25's Interests:

About Me: I'm 21 years old and I'm a university student majoring in accounting. I'm in a relationship right now where I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I truly have no doubt in my heart that this is the man that I want to marry because he completes me in every way. My only problem in this relationship has always been my bfs past. My mind is always going back to his past and comparing the love he felt for them to the one he feels for him. My insecurity has led me to believe that I'm not his 1st choice that he's with me because his "love" left him behind...it was 5 years ago but still the thoughts are there..hopefully through journaling I can get this feeling out of my heart so that our relationship can get stronger.

Interests: I love reading whenever I actually have the time. One of my fav authors is Jodi Picoult. I'm a big Harry Potter fan but unfortunately I haven't gotten around to finishing the last book eventhough I started a year ago.. I love my nintendo Wii and I can't wait for more games to come out. I love to work out 4 times a week because it helps me release my stress and feel good about myself.

Favorite Music: Ashlee Simpson, My Chemical Romance, Jessica Simpson, Daughtry, All American Rejects, Simple Plan, Plan White Ts...and the list goes on

Favorite Movies: Sweet Home Alabama, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Grease, Crazy Beautiful, Beaches, What Dreams May Come, Dirty Dancing, Man on Fire, and Trison and Isolde.

Favorite Television: Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, One Tree Hill, and FRIENDS!! Everybody Loves Raymond, I Love Lucy, King of Queens, My Wife and Kids.

AUXILARY25's Friends:
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