It's 4:26 A.M. and i've been awake since 3. My total hours of sleep...3. I kept waking up thinking i needed to leave for basketball, and that i had to pull out my curlers. Being sleepy and unaware, i pulled out my curlers...grrrr. now they are gonna deflate faster.
But you wanna know what i'm really excited for?...To see Zach. I am sooo confused. A couple days ago i was totally content and happy that i had him as such a good friend. But then he dropped the bomb...He had a girlfriend. The raging green monster reared its ugly head inside me. Now i'm on the borderline of jealous girlfriend and a good friend. And i'm pretty sure i like.
He just gets me, ya know? Here's an example:
I was upset with myself b/c of my birthday situation. I get the fact that we are tight on money right now, but i expect more for my birthday. I just feel so selfish and its eating me up. Its just so hard for me, and i don't know why. What makes it worse is that the rest of my siblings handle it so much better than me.
Anyway, so i was online with Zach was concerned:
Zach: What's wrong?
Abby: Nothing, i'm fine
Zach: you're lying. you're not talking as much online, somethings bothering you
Abby: (explain the situation)
Zach: I see, that totally sucks.
Abby: Yea
Zach:k...well lets get ur mind off of it.
And then we started a round of questions and it totally made me forget about it. And dude, he knew something was wrong and we were ONLINE. It's not like he read the expression on my face, he just KNEW. I'm not gonna say i'm in love with him because, hello...i'm 13 (actuallly i'm 14 in a couple hours) and it just doesn't feel right coming from me, at this age. I just really like him i guess. But why does this keep happening to me?
I was head over heels for Cody (which i don't get why), and he was in love with Nina. and now i'm starting to like Zach again...but he's going out with some girl named Rachel. God, i saw a picture of her and she's mega pretty. Like model-pretty. It makes me hate her even worse. Except, with each of these situations, i end up being the one person that they gush about their girlfriend to. YIPEE, i get to hear about how wonderful, pretty, and great she is. and what do i do? i have to listen put in a friends input and act happy. LA-DE-FRIKIN-DA
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