Today Erin &�I took the girls to the beach today &�as always I kept finding myself thinking of Mike. Aleea is doing so much lately some good &�some bad that I would just love to have him by my side for. She is now telling me I am a downer I am not real happy about that. I text him &�told him about her saying that &�boobies. He seemed ok but now he didn't even call her to tell her good night. I think I hurt when he does this more than she does. I love them both so much &�wish to God we could all just live together &�have a happy life. She was running through the house w/ a pink cowboy hat on saying yea haw it was so funny! I was at work last week reading our old emails &�up until May in which I think was about the same time he started really�seeing her he was playing a great role in our life’s. We had talked about taking her to the circus. We spent Easter together now she’s in the picture so I can’t be &�Aleea is going to get hurt. I don’t know who I hate more her, him, or myself! God I wish I could fix this mess! Will my heart ever feel better? Is his love gone forever? Would he love me if she was gone?