alabrat's Journal

 
    
18
Aug 2010
2:50 AM CST
   

It isn't over, just different


What can I say?� You were my knight in shining armor.� My rescuer.� You found me just a shell of a person.� Someone who experienced no love, just routine.� No appreciation, just routine.� No excitement or happiness, just routine.� And you changed it all.� My heart raced just to hear from you each morning.� Sweet little notes scattered in cyberspace, unexpected nothings.... were somethings.� You held all that I had hoped love could be, but had become resolved that it just wasn't.� You changed my world and rocked my foundation.� You helped me find me again.� I had lost myself in all those other labels we and society give us; wife, mom, executive director, manager, etc.� I was me again.�� It felt wonderful.� I'd found love.�

But somewhere along the way, somethings became less important.� Conversation. I love you.� Time spent together.� Conversations about nothing... us.� And we too have fallen into the "routine".� There is no importance in the things that we used to spend hours with.� The nothingness that was just you and me, in our love.� That sweet "nothing", "nothing" but us.� The world is with us now and we are less important.� We move through the motions and do what the other expects... most of the time.� We find ourselves standing on the edge and not worrying if it matters to the other.� And sometimes we cross the line.� But without guilt, because, those little things just don't matter anymore.� So what if we miss that time together..... there is tomorrow.� So what if I don't get to call.� Nothing would have been said in that conversation anyway.� It's about work, and stupid drivers and the heat of the summer.� It isn't about my love.� It isn't important.� And so, the conversations aren't either.� We were only love... and that made us grand.� Something neither of us knew.� We had only known the motions.�

And here we are..... in the motions.
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1 comment(s) - 08:40 PM - 08/20/2010
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alabrat's Profile

  • Username: alabrat
  • Gender / Age: Female, 56
  • Location: USA - Tennessee
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