Dear Journal,
I am so sorry! i havent wrote in a long time�i guess after Disney i was focused on the rest of the summer but guess what? School is in like 2 days eeeppp! I mean im so excited yet nervous cause i dont wanna have classes with breanna i'll die! I mean her face makes me wanna throw up! But otherwise that im good lol uhmm.. i got my schdule but it only showed like 5 classes so my mom classed and they bitched so they didnt send it yet so theres a good chance i have to get it tomorrow at the school which sucks balls. I was talking to josh again a few hours ago and he showed me pics of when he was at work he looked like�a 50 year old dude.. I was like umm g2g peace ttyl! But i feel really bad for doing that but i dont know he still likes me after 3 years im like dude leave me the fuck alone. I went to jessicas for like 2 and a half hours which was kinda fun we were telling each other really embarrassing� moments in school and we had a fun time we laughed about it and almost peed in our pants
Yeah.. so tonight is my last night to sleep late so im gonna try to like make the best of it. Im dyeing my hair black tomorrow i cant wait oh my gaa!!! lol dont ask today i said oh my ga and i cant stop [sorry random moment]. I remembered how i used to play cartoonetwork with bre and we would play for hours and hours till it was like 5 in the morningg but im gonna play a game so peacee!
�xo xo BR!ANABAMM
� Dear Journal,
�Yeah, so i started playing imvu again ; i dont know since vmk closed i mean there's nothing else to do on my spare time. Even though i miss vmk with all my heart...... imvu is my next game i wonder what they are imagining next. But anyways my sisters boyfriend bruised his hand and he had to go to the hospital cause it was getting swollen but yeah otherwise that i guess my day was you know boring. I had to babysit my cousin yesterday and it was hell oh man kill me. I was suffering so much i cant even believe my mom didnt tell me. But, i guess whatever we had a yard sale and my mom got like 200 and gave my aunt like the whole thing practically. My mom is so annoying she thinks cause i am afraid of being in the spot i dont like to help I FUCKING HATE BEING ON THE SPOT AND SHES SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!! god so i my aunt i wanted to scream at them it got me so mad. WHATEVER well i g2g im getting pretty tired.
�����Peace & love Bri
�Alright well me and caitlin got in a pointless online fight the other day which didnt make sense but whatever. Caitlin and taylor hung out and you know what that means trouble. So they called me and i pretended to be in the shower so they wouldnt rub something in my face like they did last time. So, after i called them and they said 'briana if we tell you something you promise you wont get mad'. So my heart was thumping like fuckk. So i thought they were gonna be like 'briana we dont wanna be friends with you anymore cause your this or that' making some weird shit up. So... it wasnt it was completely different they said we drank last night and know we're having hang overs. So idk if it's real probably not cause taylor said that breanna and her were cousins? yeah i bet sweetie I bet. But idk if it's true hopefully not but caitlin is forgetting about her chance. So hopefully she'll come to her senses and finally ya know.. stop acting different when she's with taylor. So.. hopefully she'll change and her chance might not time out. Cause last time it almost did. Damn.. man i dont get it everytime when she's with taylor. I wonder what happened with caitlin and Katie L. they were best friends know they dont even talk but whatever it aint my bussineezz. Well.. it's 2:26 in the morning and im tired im gonna watch a movie then hopefully fall asleep. Well, peace out girl scout!
peace&love
�Fuck it's freaking happening again that stupid phobia crapp. Lemme tell you somethingg i have a big phobia of diabetes. That probably why i always freak out if i pee alot or if im thirsty or hungry or tired it's SO annoying. But, the thing is my mind is telling me your family doesnt get kid diabetes only older diabetes if that makes sense. I mean like yesterday night i drank alot and i peed alot and i freaked out. Ughh its so annoying and i know exactly why im afraid of having it cause my grandma died of it. Man.. i hope that i dont get it when im older i eat healthy for a kid. I mean the temptation of having alot of icecream i can stop myself. I only serve myself in little cups thats like 1 scoop or 2. So, yeah im going to the doctor for a checkup. And i havent had one since 5th grade ik ik your like your supposed to have one every year ik it's just how my doctor works. I hate the smell of the doctor's office it smells so horrific like something's going to happen. LOL lemme tell you about the other day. I thought i was pregnant &+ it was so stupid i mean im 13 i didnt have sex so no sperm thingys could hit my egg. Crapp it's so annoying sometimes i think im crazy but im not it only happenes once every 4 or 5 months. I swear man i get afraid of dieases so quickly. Here's another thing about me i always think about how everyone's going to die. Ik ik you probably think im emo im not. I just have those times and i know that everyone does. Well I better go call my mom to put the appointment today causee i might get my period [sorry guys] tomorrow.
peace & love
Ohhh Babyyy it's been a long day. I was supposed to hang out with caitlin but, she ditched me to hang out with her friend Emily. So, I went to hang out with my friend Treva. It was so much fun lol. We took pictures, we made a video, and played tennis. Lemme tell you a little but about our day, We went to our school's tennis court at our school and we had the middle court. On the left was a teenager practcing with her coach. On the right there was 2 elder people and i think one of them was a coach. So as me and treva played this man that looked like a stalker kept smiling at me and treva so we started cracking up laughing. And so he kept getting our balls and i just couldnt help but laugh he was standing there like lol idk it was just SO WEIRD. So after a couple of minutes we noticed it was the teenagers dad so we just started laughing. So the elder people on the right of us moved to the left court as the coach left. The lady comes over to me and says 'Sweetie i think you should get lessons .... you have alot of bad habits and i mean alot' so i looked at her like... wtf? and im like uhm we play for fun we're not on a tennis team... we do it for exercise and fun' so this lady was like ohhh thats okay? like she was technically saying i was horrible. So the coach walks over to my friend and says heres my card. They thought we were horrible and we just looked at each other like WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.�So yeah i went home around 6 and i came home and guess who was there my aunt and little cousin. I mean i love them but they are SO annoying especially my cousin man. She is so annoying for a 2 year old. So, caitlin called me to hangout and im like i cant mom said no and omg if you say no she asks all these questions like why? you were over trevas? blah blah blah. And i was like whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah tomorrow i might hangout with Treva again after church. =]
�Dear Journal,
�Today was pretty good other than my mom pmsing on what I should wear to her job. I mean oh my god she was screaming like fuck. She's like 'Briana you look so raggedy with those shorts and tanktop your gonna wear a skirt' So she made me wear a skirt and a plain white tank wasnt really my style. It looked good but, it wasnt my style dude. Anyways I went to my moms job for 4 hours it was pretty boring. There's this really hot guy in her job who gave me candy teeheee =] But anyways me and my sister want to go to a concert with the veronicas playing. IM SO SICKEDD MANN!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!! lol so yeah, I mean im really happy and excited. Im getting a new haircut style next year cant wait<3 LOL i've noticed that im being really random. Yeah, so uhmm.. im bored and im watching CSI:Miami and this girl just got shot and it scared the shit out of me. Yeah, tomorrow im hanging out with Caitlin hopefully to take pics for myspace. LMFAO THE GUY FROM CSI:MIAMI WAS LIKE BURN BABY BURN! lol sorry. My cat was acting so hyper before we were playing murderer dont ask it's our little game. He's laying down and staring at me and i wanna eat him right now he's SO cute. DAMN IM BEING RANDOM AGAIN. Yeah, so..... tomorrow i hope i go to the city to get an ed hardy shirt.
�� Dear Journal,
�Todays been better i havent been thinking about yesterday thank god lol. My mom is bringing us to disney August 10th. Hopefully i wont get my period like I did last time when we went to Las Vegas=[. But, yeah Caitlin came over today and we made videos which didnt turn out to good lol. We pranked a few people which was SO FUNNY. Im really hungry right now lol im in the mood for greek salad!!!! I feel like dancing and screaming i have no idea�why�lol. Cant believe summer vacation is going by so fast. Tonight I have to sleep in my hot room sadly. I slept with my sister the past two days shockingly. Shes always being a queen bee and acting like she's Miss Universe. Yeah but i hate the darkness it's weird. I go to bed so late cause im afraid of sleeping by myself and having nightmares after nightmares=[ but, my mom thinks im crazy or psycho but im not. lol my sister petting my cat right now hopefully she doesnt see me. Yeahh i gotta go butt i'll check in laterr !
Loveeeeeeeeeeee
BRIANAA <3
�When you were little did you ever realize when you started living? When everything was happy and free. It was like a bird flying freely in the sky. How long is forever? How long can someone love you? I remember my dad. He would make me smile when i cried. He would lay down with me before the first day of school. He would spoil me with stuff when I felt disgusting. I wanna go back to where i felt comfortable with my family where it was quiet and safe. Where I felt what was like heaven? He left me and told me he was going on vacation. My dad is the kindest person you would ever meet. Yet, I never knew he had a dumb side. He lend this woman 80,000 dollars. WHICH IS THE STUPIDIEST FUCKING SHIT I'VE EVER FUCKING HEARD. My mom is struggling with money and i dont know what to do. My mom is like superwoman and thats what i admire about her. Yet she can be so weak. Back to the main problem. My dad lend this woman 80,000 dollars for what reason i have no idea. It doesnt make sense do you know what you can do with that money? HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO SUE HER HE LET HER RUN AWAY WITH THAT MONEY AND SHE NEVER PAID HIM BACK. MY DAD IS SO STUPID BUT I LOVE HIM WITH MY DEAR HEART. Does he love me? i dont know. My mom asked him do you love that woman more than your kids? he didnt say anything I remember when he said briana i love you forever but im not sure now. He probably doesnt care about me and my sister anymore. He thinks im just his daughter from back then. You only have one life to live sweetie dont waste it. I dont wanna have to suffer like my mom. I dont want to live a life like my mom. And im holding back the tears and im scared. Im scared that Im not gonna have a good childhood. Geez its so hard my mom pretends everything's ok but it's not. My dad doesnt care about me i guess he never has I guess.. when he said I love you he didnt mean it.�Im so depressed and I cant even believe this. He doesnt even wanna give my mom money =[ I will surpass my mom I will. Im not gonna have a life like her. Im going to be a future psychologist. And I WILL GET MARRIED AND BE HAPPY.
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