Nodeadenz

Aug 2010
7:21 AM EDT

Omg

�First we� went to church briefly, then to a� gathering his sister hosted it was nice. But his brother kept scrutinizing me not sure why. He staring made me ansy though I started to ask wtf is your problem! ....� later that eveining he got drunk and urinated in the closet thinking he was in the restroom. I was mad as hell, I thought to give him the ax immediatley .
�He inquired why I say Iam unworthy and when I told him he� informed he already knew. He baited me into confirming his suspcions about my my former life. Every has a past I chose not to disclose mine. If I� could have have kept it hidden for eternity I would have.� He tells me I could talk to him about anything, this is a blatant lie. His face was contorted with anger and hurt, there is some tension btwn us. Were working through it though, this is the first time I didnt run for the damn door literally. Im amazed that he still ove me, he is� so wonderful@ times that is lol.

rite now Iam exhausted mentally as well as physically. Iam supposed to do everything and be�everyone.
For once Iam� going to do me fuck everyone else I cant keep taking care of other people needs and neglecting my own. Im bout to break down I cant take much more of the bullshit. Not sleeping enough, not eating have been late to work a couple time this week. My check disappeared, my house is nasty. Antoinette claimed she was going clean the kitchen, of course she didnt follow through. She was here for a couple days and am glad she left. She's loud ghetto and rude,trouble pursues her. Not sure what is going on over there with jr but it aint my fucking problem I want none of that. Guess she believe giving me twenty dollars was doing something.� Dont know what is preventing her from getting a damn job or social service.