I disobeyed the prophet who told me not to look back and read some of the i.m. "he" sent some months ago. No purpose for doing so, there isnt anything there that would've have� allowed me to detect� or predict his many deceptions. Damn I feel like such a freaking fool. How did I get myself into that mess. Or why did I allow my emotions to take me for a roller coaster ride? Still unanswered questions linger... why? Why?
Iam totally single now... with reason of course. One of my fears is being alone, which Iam conquering� methodically and slowly. There are times when I question whether I want� continue living this way, the answer is of course not!� However I need to� do me . Whomever I marry (if I ever do) I want to prove to be an asset versus dead weight. I dont honestly know with surety if I ever will remarry, but for now friendships will suffice. I need to re establish a relationship with self, love me unconditionally first.
I awoke early this morn, while� the children were resting.� I�finished reading this book called tortured for christ.� I cannot grasp why someone would voluntarily� consent to martyrdom. Dont get it twisted I love christ as well, however not to this extent. Pray for me, cause I would not under any circumstance submit to being abused. The crucifixon was enough for me christ paid it all. I consider� his death the ultimate�cost �for my sin. So why should I suffer needlessly when he already paid the price.
I sincerely belive that there are better ways to serve god than being beating, kicked spat on� imprisoned and the like. Never before have I appreciated the freedom of living in the west as I do now. I am not limited to� speak because of my gender or ethnicity.
Add comment
