I must get my mind right and focus on�something other than him. this kids are doing what they do best especially daniel! He is getting on my fucking nerves and Isaiah should be getting ready for his apt with jenny. I need to get daniel back on his meds for real, cause there are times like now that I want to break his damn neck. Tomorrow I have anger management, and bet she will be diggin in my biz. Her life must be really dull compared to mine, havent attempted to complete the home she gave out. Will get @ it later much later! I recognize where all my feelings of bitterness derive. dont need her to tell me this, all I need is direction on how to act out my anger without causing any more harm to myself or others. After a conversation with "him" about� what took place in my childhood I was restless. As well as afraid, I regressed and became that child again. I feared that "mattie" would hear me reveal what she had done and retaliate. I was physically ill and shaken just by speaking about the incident. I had to repeatedly tell myself that� "Iam safe and Iam not that child anymore. " I pulled the covers over my head as if shielding myself from the harm she caused me. This is crazy, I admit, but hey whatever gets me through the night.
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