Feeling like hmm idk, cant describe it so many emotions going on right now. I feel sad, hopeless, ugly. scared�depressed.... and alot of anxiety. I want what I want when I want and presently I want "him" The distance is becoming a fucking headache, I need to feel him, to hear "him" breathe see his facial expressions. Something has to give, cant do this much longer I wont. I cant sleep @� night . Most nights I cry�or toss and turn myself to sleep. When I conjured thoughts of my ideal he is it but our current situation is all jacked up. How can I say to him with out appearing all clingy that I need you now! "Right now, I need� you to be here with me, I feel� fragmented, incomplete." I wish I had the courage to say this to him and much more like "please be faithful and committed only to me". Im getting choked up right now, thinking of how much I miss "him," trying to stay strong and not break down Iam on the edge of tears. Why did I do this to myself? I did say never again.... but look @ me now. Am I a fool for allowing myself to love this hard this deep.... for craving him like I do with every fiber of my being!
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