Nodeadenz

My father is full of shit, he always want� something for nothing. I aksed him weeks ago to plow during the blizzard. You think he did it hell no! Now he wants me to look up shit on the internet, calling me incessantly. Like its a true emergency. some days I hate his ass, now being one of them. Spoke to "him", he doesnt call as much and when he does� he aint saying a damn thing. Most of the time he allegedly drops the call. I aint stupid, I have no clue� wha is going on with him. All� I gather from our very brief conversations that he is just too busy for me. I am contemplating if marrying will be the same way. Will i be left to my own devices, ignored what. He says he want to start 12 churches. He is complaining about lack of rest now,what is he thinking or is he thinking. I feel shoved to the side, as if Im unimportant, I dont expect him to�satiate my every need but damn can a sista get some time in? I guess this is what I get for falling for a jesus freak huh? Its all right to love the lord but brotha man is a bit extreme! One of �things I have noticed about him is that he tries to control a sitution. When I told him I was going to sleep via text, he act like he didnt comprehend. He wants me to give him my undivided attention when he wants it. I dont pump like that, which he will soon find out. Damn this phone, keeps ringing off the hook.�Its walt talking� about me he misses me. Aint shit going down he had his chance that shit� is a wrap!� I aint fucking with him after things went down� the way the did. Never again not in this lifetime or the next! I mean I will be cordial and that is it. Im not looking back nor am i going back. Pressing forward, this is a new year and I have� new mindest. Which is not to settle for less than Iam worth or let people walk on me. Nope not going there!

Oh yeah how did I forget the other day, Eli came by to do me a favor exodus answered the door so he left. He is an ass, he just wanted to� be in my face its irrelevant who answers the door. Why cant he do what I asked him to do it was and is a simple task. He can only dream about fucking me cause it will never happen! What he thought was he could corner me by the door and try to feel me up, nope! He called later that day� trippin so I got loud, ghetto beligerent whatever word� fits and cursed his ass out! I told him fuck you and dont speak to my like Im your kid cause I aint bitch! And a host of other expletives came out of my mouth of course. He is a such a hater, he needs to line up with all the rest. He gone have to pick his jaw off the damn ground when I get married, he has told me time and time again� I wont. Now I feel like I have a point to prove. That� I can have a succesfull marriage, to someone who is like minded and wont try to make me over. I can wait til he meets "him". He wish he was half the man� "he" is, Eli dont even come close.