Spoke to him, this morning, wasnt himself. Seemed a bit�sullen �asked was it me, he said no, he didnt want to expound so� I backed off. However I would like to� be aware of whatever is going on with him, after all this is how he is with me. If he thinks something is off kilter with me, he will keep digging til� he finds the source of my agitation. I didnt pry any further, he didnt want to share,whatever. Guess when he's ready he will talk about it.
�We briefly� talked about our upcoming event, were ready. Iam feel a bit nervous, This can be likened to free falling with out��the�safety of a parachute . Hope this doesnt hurt too bad, I expect a few bumps and bruises :but a fractured heart is unacceptable. It would take to long to recover. Have decided not to text him, dont want to smother him. I understand he is a man with many chores.
He is the man I dreamnt about prayed about cried about. I was in the lowest place in my life when he came along. I was exiting a deep pit of sadness, coupled with sucidal ideations. It wasnt too long ago that� I was laying on the couch contemplating checking out. Crying questioning God why.... why so much hurt, lonliness, emptiness. I didnt think I could go on another day, I was slowly yielding to a somber demise by my own hands. Then out of nowhere he found me, called me revived�/ pumped� hope into my necrotic�heart.�� Taking a nostalgic look on this past year� and the events that occured says that Iam a survivor! I made it!
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