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�I wont be going to church as planned, my sister was going to watch my kids while I went but she got pissed off. Her son tried to hump on my daughter her kids are just plain fucking nasty, I told x.e. not to ever be alone with them they always try this shit. It makes me� feel very uncomfortable to know my� neice are nephews got issues like this. I beat x.e. I told her to tell an adult but she rarely does why i dont know. she better not ever let me catch her alone with anyone especially them. So ruth beat her son not that it mattered, then left to get on the bus. It is sad� that I�have to watch every move her children make. They have no respect at all for anyone else's property, their whole motivation is to break my kids shit up. I guess they feel that they dont have anything so why should anyone else. Not that my kids have it made they dont� have alot, yet I insists they take care of the material things they possess. Her kids kick her, push her when they dont get their way, if it goes to the extreme I will address it. They arent my kids so what the fuck ya know. Dj is still up begging for shit , he wants to wait til it is bed time to tell me he is starving but aint going for that mess tonight. Contemplated going to church tonight but,� cant/dont trust daniel alone� for� sixty seconds. He is always trying to weasel his way out of his chores Iam not going to let him manipulate me!� I just want to be alone with the phone, takling to my man. He made me smile earlier as we chatted while he� had a few mintues before his service started. I told him if I was going to� church I need to put some make up on, his reply was that I was�beautiful and� didnt need any enhancement. (my sister and her terrible 2 r back she claims I gave her the wrong� bus schedule information, well she just called a cab which stated they will be here in 10 to 15 minutes. I pray to God they hurry up� and leave, I need my space right now fo real). Pardon me for digressing,� back to what was on my mind. Looking forward to conversing with my man til one or both of us fall asleep. It is the next best thing to� being with him. There are some days when I want� him so bad omg!� Closeness is what I need ,would like to hear him snoring in my ear, or� watch him as he falls off to sleep with me laying nearby.� For now a phone call a� text will hav to suffice.

Betcha he is going to be tired when he comes from the service.�Kind of worried about things that have� yet to come, like the time away from home he will be spending. Maybe this is god's way of preparing me, sometimes I cry silently because I long for him. He is not cognizant of this and prefer to keep it that way. Dont want him to feel like he has to choose, or that I am needy or cant handle the situation.��Tthe fact that he travels� alone, (sleeping in hotels)extensivley makes me uneasy.� Those holy whores whom god is in� constant commune with�probably be on him like flies on shit! I�am going to adapt a tough skin ,I must� as well as�pray fervently that god continues to be the glue/substance that keeps us faithful to each other. This is about all one can do given the circumstances.