I just got� off the phone with "kyle". Talked about my diary entry and other superficial shit.� I have to find something/someone to occupy my free time. I know I should be considering this upcoming semester but I dont even want to think about school or my faggot ass mentor. He is such a flamer, it makes my stomach hurt. Oh yeah, I spoke to daymon the other day, called him. Because he asked my sister about me. The first question out his mouth is who Iam sexin' of� course my answer was no one. That is none of his damn fucking business.�Although nothing ever went down with us, he claims he cant be around me cause he starts lusting after me. Like this is my fault, all I ever asked him to do was hold me that was it. I let him know that� Iam no longer interested in him and he� inquired why. Did not go into details but he�knows the answer. I told him I aint saved, churchy or holy enough for him. He dont eat pussy, toss salads or like oral sex performed on him. He thinks god wouldnt approve. He� once likened oral sex to sodomy, and I told him my pussy needs to be sodomized. He didnt find that comment funny at all. He� was supposed to pick me and�the kids up �yesterday to go to church with him but didnt show. Worked out great I didnt want to go, I dont like his church at all. and because of the ongoing competition with larry. He is missing out, not me I will never know what could've been� he beat me to the punch and sabotaged things before they even got started. He used to ask me was I gay, cause of my hair, he just had all these preconcieved notions about who I was and was suprised to find out I� wasnt who he determined I was.
On to another topic, the huggeth, which Isaiah called him to his face. He asked me what that meant lol. Yes he tried to hug me why I dont know, yuck. His dick is so tiny, 4real. I can always tell when he is dealing with a female he is so transparent. Not my problem. I got my own relationship to deal with meaning "kyle". I was on the phone with him when huggeth came to drop me off at mama's house. He seem irritated that I was on the phone. I dont really give a flying fuck about what he thinks, he wants to know whom Iam dating. None of his damn fucking business, I bet he jacks his dick and imagines� how I put on my man. He is just that type and Iam just the type to give him explicit (fake of course) details. I need to be close to "kyle" not sexually just close to him. He has said what he said so there is no need to inquire about how he feels about us. He's clearly� is disturbed by the idea that I would screw someone else. Hey he can have emotionless sex, but doesnt think I can master it. It is not me that is the� problem it is the man who I would choose. I am sure a brother dealing with me on that level would become clingy and deranged. It has happened�already.
Jerry has been calling me the past few day, I am avoiding him for no particual reason. He didnt do anything out of the norm dont want to be bothered that is all. I spoke to the� C.O.�last night. He is a very intuitive older man. He seems rather lonley, maybe his woman aint given him none. considering they arent on good terms. He appears to have his act together, he is humble and strong. A great combination. Anyway I need to de stress maybe take a bubble bath, put on some warm lotion and a t shirt with boy shorts. I should get @this book to keep my mind occupied. Perhaps it will help redirect my focus, which is currently on a lot of negative shit.
I forgot to add that I� got the Bianchi Bitch of my back and out of my life 4 good these last 4 years having been a living hell. Thankful it is over, never have to deal with them coming to my home opening up my fridge, delving into my personal affiars. Or questioning my kids on the low(or so they think), about what goes on here. No more ducking and dodging them ever again, I made a costly error. I paid for it with my ife. Literally I have learned my lesson, not a path I want to journey down again and have empathy for anyone who does. Damn I thank God it is over and I will never do that shit again. I mean never again.
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