MzLonely2007's Journal

 
    
20
Jul 2007
8:28 AM CDT
   

I'm not good at staying with these kind of things, or anything for that matter. I'm always busy. Seems I'm so busy with my emotions and problems that I can't get involved in anything else. I've told my husband that I want a divorce, he is, at times, abusive, and all the time controlling. He feels sorry for me when I'm sick or hurt, but then when I'm fine, it's back to being mean. I don't get it. Should I stay sick all the time, or hurt so that I may be treated well? I don't think so either. He tells me he's not leaving and it stays at that. And he acts as if I haven't said a thing.
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17
May 2007
12:45 PM CDT
   

Today is okay. My son, he is 11, had a t-shirt signing party after school. It's almost the end of the year. Next year he's off to a new school, middle school. he isn't excited. As for me, well the bruise on my arm is so big and bright. I refuse to wear long sleeves and hide what he did to me. I wear it showing so it's a reminder to him. Although I get a lot a questions from others about where it came from. To some, I tell the truth and lie to others. What are they going to do to help me? I'm pretty new in this town, so maybe I will eventually make some REAL friends. That might help.
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10
May 2007
7:46 PM CDT
   

My first post and it's not very pretty. Life doesn't agree with me. I am 35, too old for this shit. I am very depressed. I had a fight with my husband. We've been married for almost 12 years. It hasn't been happy for a long time, but I've had trouble leaving. Tonight has been horrible. We fought. And I cried. He calls me a whore. Although I've never cheated on him. He broke things. And then so did I. I hate him most of the time. I've been going to a therapist because of him. I don't think anyone has the power to help me, cause I can't help myself. I'm just letting myself go. Yes, I have thought of suicide. I am a recovering self-cutter. I have thought of hurting myself tonight and it has been a struggle to keep from doing it. I won't, I hope.
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1 comment(s) - 07:30 PM - 05/17/2007
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MzLonely2007's Profile

  • Username: MzLonely2007
  • Gender / Age: Female, 53
  • Location: USA - Missouri
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