Sometimes that's all you need. Just a flash of a thought can change your whole outlook.
I was thinking about something, trying to come to a conclusion and realized that I wasn't able to do that. I told myself that it's probably because my mind is foggy from grief. I'm not myself, I shouldn't try to make up my mind just yet. I need to give myself some time, the "grief filter" isn't allowing me to think right.
In that moment I realized that the talk I had with Bear the night before was a total mistake! I was completely wrong to blame him for what went wrong in the bedroom. I had used words�like, "always" and�"never", that's�totally unfair.�I'm just not myself these days, I'm going through a very sad thing and it's normal to have an affect on my intimate life. I didn't see that at that time but I do now. I said some things to him that hurt him and I was wrong, it was my fault that I wasn't satisfied.
I needed to�share this with�him, he listened and forgave me. The honesty between us has always been there but here and now I find it amazing that there is still the ability to grow.