Imperfection's Journal

Mar 2010
2:49 PM EDT

Nothing.

Dear Journal,

� It's been 2 days since mike died..The pain has worn out a little bit but, now�all i feel is emptyness and nothing. The hurt has gone away and now transformed into nothing. My body feels numb and i feel so weird. I know i shouldnt be mad at him but, i am so upset. I may not feel it now, but i know that inside im hurt and angry at him for causing me this much pain. Knowing hes gone is just so hard to put into my head i feel as if hes somehow here with us but, i know hes not. Today, was absolutely horrible. As i walked into school i realized i would never see him again. I kept looking back in the hallways to see if he was there but that was just be being insane. I walked into my fourth period class and my friend came in hysterical and my other friend was crying too. I wondered why i didnt cry? I guess i dont feel the pain anymore. I would rather feel nothing then pain. I've always been emotionless, but this has triggered me to become more emotionless. I was looking at his screename last night and the last away message i saw was 'getting my jewberry, i love my twinsieeeeeee' God, how i remember him so well. My friend found a video of him and i on her phone and she showed me and i had to look away, i need to forget everything. Im afraid but i dont know why? I guess that things like this always happen. Know i feel as if im afraid to get close to someone to avoid the pain of when theyre gone forever. Not being able to hug someone you care about deeply is just..horrible. The pain is seeping into my chest but i need to stop. The world will change one day, but not in my lifetime. I know that for a fact.

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Imperfection's Profile

Username: Imperfection

Gender / Age: Female, 29

Location: USA - New York