I�dont know what to do anymore, its like my world is slowing crashing down on me bringing me back to reality. I cant stand it anymore... Its driving me up the wall like a rapped ape! �I�mean thats all they talk about.
"They did this"
"They did that"
OMFG! its so anoying cant they just shut up?!?!?! I�mean... hello? cant I get some room to cool off and breath a little? No, most likely not... because that would be to much to ask, right?.......
Anyways. I�saw him today. He just this one guy that I know. I miss him. I�wish I could go back in time and tell him the truth... but that'll never happen. Thats my goal, before I die, I want to tell him the truth, I want to tell everyone Im sry for all the times I've pissed them off, I�want to go and live my life. Not the one my parents have neatly layed out for me. My friends probably think I�have it easy, well you know what? I�DONT!! But unfortunatley for you I�dont feel like going into detail.
What know one realizes about me is that Im good at hiding things. I can hide the truth, I�can bottle up my emotions and lock them away with out anyone knowing. I hide. Why? Because, through out my life the one lesson I have learned and learned well, is to never show weakness, and when things get tough pull out that mask and keep going like everything's all right. Even when its not.
My world's been set on fire. A fire that burns so hot, its like walking through the Sahara desert with black snowsuite for days without water. I feel like crawling back into that familiar shell, Im safe there.
I�feel numb, I cant feel anything. Everything is �tuned out most of the time, Im competley obliviouse to the world around me. I wish he was here with me. He always made things better, but now he's gone, and theres nothing I can do about it. Its like being all alone, but this is much worse.....
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