Brooke's Journal

ok so i have a question. it's not retorical so some feed back would be nice please. ok so i have a boyfriend right? and we have been through alot together. i mean he stuck by me when i took all my sleeping pills and just he never left my side. and i love him so much but lately i just dont know i mean im only 18 and he, my mom, his mom and so many other people are talking about he and i getting married. im not ready to get married im to young i have to much that i havent done that i still have to do. im still going to school and i have like 8 more years of it. and he is going to start college and he doesnt even know what he wants to do yet and just idk i feel like we are both on two totally different paths. i feel like im way further ahead in the race you know? and i hate this but i am totally doubting our relationship, whether i should be with him or not. i am not a cheater and i have never been a cheater until last weekend. i got drunk he and i werent getting along i was doubting hte relationship then more than ever and i hooked up with another guy. whats weird is that i dont feel bad about it. i know thats horrible but idk what to do. and my ex just moved back and my feelings for him never went away and his never went away either and he and i were as close to perfect as you can get really. i mean it was so calm, no jealousy, fights only here and there and awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww idk what to do. do i break up wiht my boyfriend of almost a year, off and on, or do i stay with him and doubt the relationship. and no i wouldnt break up with him for my ex. any imput is good imput please.

<3 brooke