vflow99's Journal

Dec 1969
6:00 PM

better than people

i consider myself a good person.� However i have faults, sometimes in defense to people who i think are being malicious towards me i become indifferent to social situations a fancy way of saying i start to put off a vibe like im better than them. when the reality is its just my way of handling the negative pressures of life as i perceive it.� i want people to like me and� i want to be a help to others but thehonest truth �is i dont trust anyone at times not even my kids.� 18 year old paradise often makes me feel like she is in competition with me or maybe its me im not sure. im so wishy washy in in my emotions i dont know who i am or what im capable of.� GOD i just wanna be useful and i just wanna a reason to smile everyday.� please help me deal with these insecurities and perceptions i hate the person i am. how do you get here im 37 years old and i dont even know what i wanna be when i grow up. My kids deserve a better mom and well my husband or x husband now got out as soon as he could take care of himself. he deserves a good wife. sometimes i wish i could have been her other rimes i feel like i deserved a better husband.� so lost so confused so hurting help

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vflow99's Profile

Username: vflow99

Gender / Age: Female, 51

Location: USA - North Carolina