uns3ttl3d's Journal
26
Dec 2006
2:22 AM EDT
god, i am so sick of forcing myself through the motions of having to accomodate to the consideration of other people. i feel sick. i cant stand being in my own skin half of the time, and the energy alone put toward the effort of not allowing myself to get upset or depressed over the fact that i fucking hate myself and i hate my life is just overwhelming to the point i just want to scream FUCK IT. i am just so pissed. i just want to go back to new york. i am sick of being in taiwan. i cant really speak to anyone and im gaining so much wait here becuase there is nothing to do but sulk in silence and idleness and EAT EAT EAT because of boredom and nicotine withdrawal. and it sucks hardcore. i hate it. i cant stand life right now. im getting this ancy feeling that comes several times a day where i just cant stand to be alive sometimes and i just really need to hit something or scream or just do SOMETHING to release all this stress and anger. a cigarette would be nice. but i cant do that. because of fsmily. it sucks. i mean im 19. im my own person. im an adult, yes? then why the fuck do i have to suffer for the sake of others? goddamnit. this is my body. this is my life. i do whatever the hell i want with it. i am so sick of trying to change because it never works. im always let down by myself and others. im just not strong enough.i still have another fucking week and a half here in taiwan. it sucks. i just want to fucking leave now. i am goin insane!!!!! i need to get out. im so ancy right now i could punch a wall with my bare fist and not feel it. i just want to leave. now. or else my head is going to explode and im going to continue to imagine these itchy spots all over my body and i neurotically scratch the strangest parts of my body and shake and scream on the insade. i hate this ancy feeling. it comes way too often. i cant stand it. i just need to get the fuck out of here.
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uns3ttl3d's Profile
Username:
uns3ttl3d
Gender / Age:
Female, 37
Location:
USA - New York
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UNS3TTL3D's Interests:
About Me:
scatter-brained, spacey, lost, pig. i try my best to postpone the inevitable and time has ultimately expired.
Interests:
anything and everything
Favorite Music:
cat power, rage against the machine, radiohead, porcupine tree, sonic youth, modest mouse, the pixies, the cinematics
Favorite Movies:
lost in translation, edward scissorhands, requieem for a dream, pans labyrinth, the pursuit of happiness, thelma and louis, benny and joon, whats eating gilbert grape, lorenzos oil, pi, eternal sunshine, stigmata, what dreams may come, gia, juno, little miss sunshine.
Favorite Television:
heroes
Favorite Books:
i spy and wheres waldo, because i dont really read.
UNS3TTL3D's Friends:
bkschicha
felix31794
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