smb's Journal

Oct 2006
2:30 PM MST

HUMMMM, what a day, Last night (24 hrs ago) I went to the these websites, Loveadvice and askmen.com and it was men giving men advice about woman. The repeated message was woman need their interest level to be above 51% or they are going, going, gone~! and how men need to quit being "whipus americanus!" and stop pressuring, all that does is push em away. I even sent CN a link to one, that was at least nice and not so blunt. Do you think he went there? NO! I am really losing interest FAST! I'd say my interest level is down to 25%! I wasn't going to call him, and he called me, interupting my show I am trying to get into! AGH! BUT, I talked to him and it was fine until we went to hang up and it was like I wanted to say, "well, have a nice week, or have a nice month!" I'm just not into him right now, not at all! BUT, who knows, maybe that will change tomorrow! As up and down as I have been its hard to say. Work was fine, boys were fine, but just didn't listen very well, but that's nothing new! Took Jett to counseling, tried to get my counseling bills figured out. they are over $600.00 Went for a walk since I didn't get to workout, and won't tomorrow either since I have a dentist appt! I will only get to work out Wed. and so maybe I need to find an alternative for these days, like taking the boys with to the REC later in the evening! Gotta do something! I gotta have my workouts! Evonna called (D's cousin) and still wants to take me out to dinner for a late birthday dinner, probably with andrea too! Will be good to see them, I've always trusted them and enjoy sharing my heart with them, they are a safe, non-judgemental place for me to talk! LOVE them! Hopefully Stacey T and I can make it out to dinner WED. she is just too busy! I feel like I don't want to bother her anymore, her life is too busy for me I don't want to cause problems, I know her hubby is frustrated when she wants to go out because they are just too busy, I think they are probably over commited and don't prioritize.... I guess I think I should be on the top of everyones priority list! BUT I KNOW for a fact (the way the phone hardly ever rings)that I am not even close to the top,,, and not just of Stacey's list but everyone else who is "my friend" OH well, they have a life to lead and it wasn't their husband who died! Well, O puked in the toybox at daycare today, she called me but I said he probably won't do it again, and he DIDN'T! and he peed his pants! That was sad, he hasn't had an accident in probably 3-5 weeks and he has been waking up dry! I am about ready to take him out of pull-ups,,, NOW J on the other hand is wetting the bed almost every night! Wish he could get it figured out! I am sure the Stress of being daddyless isn't helping though! Well I am hungry and tired, and missing my Buzz! I need to go pray to God to give me strength to get through another day!

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smb's Profile

Username: smb

Gender / Age: Female, 49

Location: USA - Wyoming