smb's Journal

 
    
14
Oct 2006
7:12 AM MST
   

I'm tired,,, tired of feeling like I'm going crazy... and I'm just tired. Shouldn't be! I got to sleep at 10 last night and slept till 7am. I guess getting woke up 3 times probably didn't help! Yesterday afternoon my mom stopped by and Stacey T came over and stayed for dinner. I got my study guide done and got to watch my new show (Men in Trees). and as I said, asleep by 10. very relaxing night. It is nice to have "me" time~ I didn't have that much when I was with CN... he consumed so much of my time~! I think, I didn't have to "give" him that much of my time but somehow I felt like I had to,,, maybe that's part of how I felt pressure from him. He had some secret way of sucking out my energy and time and I felt guilty if I didn't talk to him EVERY night. It seemed like the longer we've known eachother the more "dead air time" there's been on the phone, every night! I guess that what a relationship does, demands your time! Last night I called Kim K. and asked if her youngest (mariah) could come to the Sat. AM movie with us. I also asked her if she could bring the girls over Sun evening as CN wasn't here. She acted as if she already knew. THen today when I was dropping Mariah off after the movie Bill asked me what we were doing today. I said we were either going to Sundance to see Jay or staying intown to go to Pizza with the B family. Then, STUPID me, I mentioned CN couldn't come over because he was burning... and Bill said, yeah, he knew he wasn't coming that CN sent him an email! SO, now I wonder what was in that email. So, I left a message on CN's phone to say I'd appreciate getting let in the "news" so I knew what to say. I don't want them to think I am lying to them while CN might have told them everything or vice-versa. The movie (Garfield) was pretty good, well actually I wasn't too into the movie but the boys were good. After O got done with his munchies he started to get a little antsie but he was the best he's ever been at the movies. We made it all the way through! WHOO HOO!
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smb's Profile

  • Username: smb
  • Gender / Age: Female, 49
  • Location: USA - Wyoming
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