WHY do I do this? I was unsure of what to do about Cory but I knew somewhere deep down that I wanted to see him so after my chiropractor appt WED. night (23rd) I went to his house, with the intention to stay. We went out to supper, it was nice but he seemed distant. He didn't seem distant when we got home and got BUSY! AGH! So, I thought everything was good. Then I was going to go home Sat. night... I ended up stopping at Jay and San's for supper and stayed too late so I went back to spearfish rather than going all the way home. BAD idea!!! He was out with his friends, came home a little after 11pm after he had had a few drinks and was all wanting to "get some" SO, stupid me I gave in. I felt so slutty... I don't know why, it's not like he would totally use me but... guess because I felt so guilty that we weren't really even "together" and we were having "casual sex" which I know God is NOT okay with! So, I felt guilty.
THEN Sun. morning, we talked for quite awhile, I really wanted to know what was up with us, where we stood. He kind of acted unsure at first. THEN, he grabbed me, looked right into my eyes and with a sincere look (for him) said, "I love you enough to be a family with you and the boys" NOW, mind you, he didn't add the "Forever" part in there and didn't sound so sure that he knew, that he knew, that he knew... BUT, thought that was start.,, then5 min. later he tellsme that some lady (come to find out it wasRenee) has been pursuing him since we've been broke up~!He said, he told her NO that he was trying to figure things out with me and didn't want to complicate things! BUT- I really think deep down he wants to just give hera whirl,,, just to see what the grass is like on the other side! Even though he didn't alude to that at all!
So,then I wrote him an email just to try to confirm some things and figure stuff out andjust make sure all is clear... I was under the impression we were "BACKtogether in a casual sort of way" working on our issues but planning that WE WILL BE aFAMILY some day,,,,
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