Cory texted me Sunday night and Monday a few times. I didn't respond. I had already deleted hisnumbers from mycellphone! Anyway,then he called the house Monday night (last night). Jett answered the phone! I hung it up, so I didn't have to talk to him! Earlier in the evening last night, Jett asked if Cory and I would get married. I told him no and that we were actually taking a break from eachother. He later said, how he wants CN to be his daddy because he is the best wrestler. I said, oh I bet all men can wrestle and plus what if mommy found him a new daddy that lived in the country and had horses. then we could have horses? He thought that was okay,,,and just dropped it.
anyway, through the several texts CN finally talked me into calling him, when I did he admitted that he "thinks" I am the best one for him and he's stupid to let me go and he "thinks" he can love me regardless of my issues.
NOW, isn't that just what I wanted to hear only about 4 days ago, but NOPE not now!
I am starting to figure this out! He was "in control" when he made me think he dumped me. during this time I was a ball of nerves and just a MESS!AND I thought I kind of wanted him back! THEN, when he said he pretty much wanted me back I was "in control" again and back to my old self! I even noticed I was better at my new years resolutions (Love and Logic, keeping my cool) when I was "upset", NOW I am just back to my bitchy normal self.BUT I refuse to let this demon control me! It doesn't matter if I am with CN or not, I CAN and WILL be incontrol of myself, my attitude and my awful behavior. Anyway, I told him that we are STILL broke up and I will only get back together with him if I "know that I know, that I know," that he is the ONE I want to spend the rest of my life with! I said, we will either stay broke up forever or go straight from broke up to engaged! THe person I'm gonna be with is gonna be the one I want forever or I'm not wasting my time! (WOW, that's a change in attitude from a year ago! SInce I was NEVER getting married back then!)OH we'll see how long this "strong headed persepective" lasts!
SO, I wasn't planning on texting or talking to CN for awhile again after monday night because I said we needed to "avoid" to make this breakup real and so I can get my shit together! Well, he texted me several times this afternoon (Tues) beacause he had the stomach, puking flu and needed my "love and support". SO, I gave in and felt bad for him so I called him tonight! OH well, I can still be nice right! Even though we are STILL BROKE UP!
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