Last night SUCKED! I talked to CN for about 1.5 hours... I got him to "sort of" admit that this break up was really what "he wanted" but he kind of "made me decide it" because he said he didn't want to "hurt anyone." WHAT the hell,,, I shouldn't be mad but I sort of am. Why didn't he let me stay broke up with him OCT of 06? OMG! I am so upset about my BOYS! They didn't deserve to get "led on" for over a year and then lose another man they loved! AGH! THIS totally sucks! anyway, I don't know what else we really said, it all just made me CRY like all night! I am so pathetic!
I sort of want to see what else is out there (NOT that I am ready for that!) but the other part of me just wants CN back! Ya know, we really didn't have that bad of a relationship! I guess we just struggled with the merge,,, that was a thorn stuck in our side and I was really ready to move on to the next step or "NOT!" SO, here we are!
I keep reading things on the internet... lots of things say, "CLEAN BREAK" no contact! SO, here I am ignoring his text he sent me!
I got Jordin Sparks new CD, its REALLY good! I sent CN the link to her Video, Tattoo, which is about moving on when you still love but you just gotta move on,,, WOnder what he'll think,,,
Last night after we hung up, I deleted his number from my phone and all of his friends/family #'sthat I don't need anymore! I decided I need to totally disconnect, I can't sorta talk/text.,,, Yesterday, (getting to talk to him 3 times) was harder on me than if we just hadn't talked at all... and also I think Ineed tostart playing hard to get,,, and see if that makes him want me back or just lets him leave quicker! AGH! THIS SUCKS! I love him but I don't know what's best!I might be going crazy and I am so depressed but the websites/articles say that is normal during a breakup!
Add comment
