Cory called to tell Jett happy birthday this morning but Jett was too busy with friends so he called back when we got home from Applebees. Of coarse, then I got to talk to him for about 30 min. It was so nice to talk to him,,, we discussed issues. We hadn't actually"talked" since the 31st. I told him how I realize I have an anger issue about Donnie and how I throw my little fits when I don't get my way and I realize I need to change NOW and I need help. I guess his way of being supportive is just not saying much that makes me think he "approves" with what I said. I told him that I want to change and I wish he'd try to work on his communication and passion issues and then IF we can love eachother for who we areincluding our quirks then the distance and "Where" we live shouldn't be an issue, If we truly love eachother then that's all we need is LOVE and the rest will work itself out! He agreed but I don't know that we will ever get to that point. I am scared we won't but I hope and pray we can. I miss him so much and I told him that! I also said, I hope when we are ready to try it again I hope he is still available! I am scared he'll move on, which is bad of me to say because he deserves to be happy and I've already said, He'd probably be happier without me! Agh! I am such a brat! and right now, I am a depressed BRAT! I feel so lonely and lost! My stomach feels "icky" most of the time and if other people aren't around I am like on the verge of crying all the time! I miss him and I guess I miss DB too! But yet I am still mad at DB!
I am so thankful for my Jett and Oakley! I need to remember to go love on them and get attention from them when I am sad and lonley.... I still have them! and THANKS God for my precious boys!
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