questioningeverything's Journal

Jan 2007
4:29 PM PST

Hello world...or the 2 two people who may stumble upon my entry and be so inclined to read it. I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life, other people's lives, the world and well just about everything. I have tried so many times to keep a journal to my self but I have failed. I guess I want to be heard. I want to be as real as I possibly can be in these entries because we live in a world where the truth is left unspoken but the internet is thriving because we all have things we want to learn, see, write, hear, listen to, and tell anyone who is willing to listen. So I am a student at a small private univeristy. I have wonderful friends who I love to death. They are my saving grace and all seem to understand one side of me or another. It is amazing. I don't think I ended up at the school for me but it has worked out. Live with no regrets right? Anyway, I enjoy school. I am a political science major. I could talk about politics for hours and I think I have an opinion on just about everything. I want to be someone important to people. It doesnt have to be large group but I want to make a difference. That's how I have always been. I don't like watch people get hurt no matter what they have done. I love children and hope that we as a society can make this country a better place for the following generations--because right now it isn't looking good. I have never been in love. I am very fearful that I never will. I haven't had much dating experience and I am constantly trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am a feminist and I am constantly trying to accept that it is okay not to get married. I am an extremely self conscience person, but I dont come across like that often. I will tell you what is on my mind most of the time. I want to see every part of this world--the beautiful and the ugly. I know that is unorginal but I still want to. I think that there is so much out there is discover about life and other cultures and all of this knowledge is out there for us to find if we are willing to find it. I dont understand how one could want to only stay in their own country, state, city, or town. I don't just want to travel the world but I want to live in all sorts of places. I want to learn a language, not from sitting in a classroom, but instead by living in a country. I think it is the second best way to learn a language (the first being taught it as you grow up). I have so many wants and desires but I am filled with just as much fear and often times that can keep me from doing and saying what I really want to say. I feel like I counld talk forever but I am going to end for tonight. I want to say first that I am horrible speller and I haven't reread this so please laugh where I have made mistakes but don't judge me for them. I am niave with all my goals in life but I think that is good sometimes because I think I can make a difference and change the world we live is just a little. The Girl Scout motto was always to leave the camping ground cleaner and better than when you got there. It is a good lesson to learn in life as well. Ignorance is bliss and there are many days I wish I could be another stupid ignorant college student. Someone who didnt care that there were starving children in Africa or that we were fighting in a war that has killed hundred of thousands of people and for no reason other than our president has a ridiculous notion that Americans are better than any other people. And finally, I want to tell you all, because this is one of the few things that I can't tell many of my friends who would understand. I have a crush--I know it is stupid--but I have a huge crush on a friend. He is one of the smartest people I have met but also one of the oddest people. He is caring and wants to do what is right but he wants to be different. He doesnt get caught up in the stupidity his peers but at the same time can be one of the biggest fools and weirdest people I have met. We are friends, not good friends, but friends. I know this is going to sound stupid, like I am a stupid girl, but I could see us being together in the future, I think that we would complement each other nicely. I know it is stupid. I hope that in talking about him I can move on. I don't want to like him anymore, but sometimes you don't choose. Anyway, good night and you will probably hear from my very soon.

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questioningeverything's Profile

Username: questioningeverything

Gender / Age: Female, 37

Location: USA - California

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About Me: I have big dreams and I want to accomplish as many of them as possible. I am still naive and believe I can make a difference in this big world we live it.