jleigh09's Journal

 
    
20
Sep 2006
9:24 PM WET
   

This is my second entry today it feels good you know to just let my thougths out. Today i have said things that are bothering me about myself and how my insecureties cause me to question everything. i dunno if anyone will understand where i am coming from but if there is anyone that does its nice to know i'm not alone and what is nice is that i can express how i feel publicly and noy have anyone i know question how i feel or doubt me etc. Everyday i just wish for more then what i have i want to be with my partner and son i want us to live together but its impossible here property is so expensive private renting is no match for the minimun wage anyone who has been to England might know what i mean. i live at home with my parents and my nan plus my brother 17 and sister 18 and it crowded we have a nice house but there just to many of us in it. I am great with my son and i'm a great mum but my nan just cant help but interfear all the time "do this" "do that" , "he is due a bottle" , "ur doing it wrong he feels insecure with you!" i mean all she ever does i tell me how to raise him an what to do and i hate it i'm his mum i know when he is hungry and i know i dont need her advice i hate the way she makes m feel useless with him it really gets to me. All she does is sit in the living room all dat watching t.v. she doesnt do anything she is the hypercondriac(excuse spelling) from hell shes always got somehting wrong with her ven if it is just a head ache. Sometimes i just wanna scream at her. I wish she could be more grateful for what my parents do for her and be more considerate of what they want. MY nan had cancer and it was caught really early and i have a friend who is dying from it and she doesnt act no where near like my nan she enjoys life and makes the most of it my nn just waists it and acts like she is dying why cant she be grateful for what she got and be grateful for what she hasny got if you know what i mean. i dont have much of a relationship with her so living with her for the past 2 years is hard she never really made an effort with me as a kid just ran me down and made me feel like crap and now im 19 she still does it. She drives me crazy and i cant talk to my family i dont wanna upset them i hate living here and i hate being around her i cant help it i just want my own space and do my own thing and be with the people i love the most. my nan never really made me feel like she loved ,e and i find i really hard to feel that strong about her she always made me my bro and sis feel like outcasts of the family she never really made an affort with us.
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jleigh09's Profile

  • Username: jleigh09
  • Gender / Age: Female, 37
  • Location: United Kingdom
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    JLEIGH09's Interests:

    About Me: i an 21 from England with a gorgous 22 month old son. I dont get alot of time to myself and i spose this is my way of getting my thoughts together and just being me not just mum, daughter,sister or girlfriend just jamie.

    Interests: i love music and art even though i dont get chance to draw or paint anymore. i love to shop for my son and partner and i love pampering myself once in a while.

    Favorite Music: i enjoy most music apart from opera, musical and classical i love r&b and hip hop i also enjoy a bit of regae,dance,drum and base and club remix's.

    Favorite Movies: i enjoy romance an comedy i love anything i can cry to i know i'm sad! i enjoy chick flicks an some action films. i love anything sexy.

    Favorite Television: i love soaps and comedy sitcoms such as fiends and my wife and kids. i also enjoy typical british comedy and c.s.i programmes.

    Favorite Books: I LOVE JACKIE COLLINS NOVELS THEY ARE GREAT .

    JLEIGH09's Friends:
    vikramjeetsolanki
    Talacia